Never Suck a Dead Man's Hand cover art

Never Suck a Dead Man's Hand

Curious Adventures of a CSI

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Never Suck a Dead Man's Hand

By: Dana Kollmann
Narrated by: Kate Zane
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About this listen

Step past the flashing lights into the true scene of the crime with this frank, unflinching, and unforgettable account of life as a crime scene investigator. Whether explaining rigor mortis or the art of fingerprinting a stiff corpse on the side of the road, Dana Kollmann details her true, unvarnished experiences as a CSI for the Baltimore County Police Department.

Unlike the popular crime dramas proliferating on today's television networks, these forensic tales forgo glitz for grit to show what really goes on. Kollmann recounts stories that the cops and the CSIs usually leave in the field, bringing the sights, smells, and sounds of a crime scene alive as never before.

Unveiling the process and science of crime scene investigation in all its fascination, Never Suck a Dead Man's Hand takes you into the strange world behind the yellow tape, offering a truly eye-opening perspective on the day-to-day life of a CSI.

Contains mature themes.

©2007 Dana D. Kollmann (P)2021 Tantor Crime Professionals & Academics Science & Technology True Crime Forensics Funny Scary Thought-Provoking Witty Technology

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Most relevant  
...I get the last reviewers mixed feelings...I am obese and there was a 'double butt' joke about the very obese man and the hanging belly. I decided...hoped...that since she revealed the crazy funny mom of hers, she does not make fun to be cruel but makes fun to stay semi-sane. I call it cop humor....if you watched the 1st 48 and have never been around cops and paramedics and firemen, you were introduced to it. while 8 to 10 per cent percent of humans have sociopathic and biggoted minds and maybe 20 to 40 percent are just not 'spiritually/ethically in tune, at least half the population have big hearts and warm souls. that includes those professions I listed...and to preserve their minds and hearts, after dealing with murdered children and mutilated bodies, they develop 'cop humor' to survive. I choose to believe the author is in the okay half and because of the topic she writes about, she is using her survival humor....and since I have met some amazing rescue types...and some idiots... i get it it...and I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. I cry over enough of what is so sad about humanity and life....if you can handle 'cop humor', this is a fantastic listen!!

...."cop humor"....both sad and hilarious

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This book is very interesting and very funny too. It is well written and expertly read. I enjoyed it a lot. It's such a pity there is not a follow up book yet. Well worth listening to.

Highly recommend

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What an eye opener into the world of American CSI. Well written and expertly narrated with a morbid sense humour. I loved this book, but its not for squeamish as the details are very graphic.

A Brilliant and Fascinating Book

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Well written, very entertaining and informative . She sounds like a woman I could have a laugh with

Truthfully funny

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It is certainly an interesting listen, and gives some insight into the weird world of a crime scene investigator. For my liking there was too little time spent on the science, theory, and actual crime scene investigating, and a little too much time spent on the weirder anecdotes, including some quite in depth analysis of the bathroom habits of co-workers. I skipped forward a few times when the recounting of interactions with members of the public got a bit much. This might be because I found the author a little uncompassionate, in particular when they recount dealings with people who are clearly having mental health issues. But also because the unfortunate side effect of listening to frustrating interactions, is that after a while they are frustrating to listen to.

Interesting, but I skipped forward sometimes

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What an incredible insight into the CSI. I couldn't and didn't want to put this book down. Yes, the humour is dark at times. But, it is read in such a way that almost lightens it. It's very easy to bond with the author who opens up her soul and let's the reader immerse themselves. When is the next chapter coming out?

Hilarious, poignant and eye opening

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Well, I laughed, cringed, toes curled etc etc etc... Fascinating. People that do this work are bloody amazing!...

The reality!!!

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An interesting glimpse into the very foreign world of gritty crime scene processing. For me, it tried too hard to be funny, but I loved the stories.

Glimpse into seldom seen world

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for the first 4/5 chapters, it was interesting. then I think it descended into rather horrible descriptions of victims, alcoholic & drug addled, as very ugly & passing judgement. I persevered for another chapter & then just got too annoyed at the censure.

interesting subject matter

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Interesting review of a life in the real CSI.
The author is keen to point out how little like the movies or TV the real job is.
Good read but finishes fairly abruptly.

Very interesting read.

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