Shopping Survival Guide for Men: How a Man Can Survive a Shopping Experience Without Having to Gnaw His Arm Off cover art

Shopping Survival Guide for Men: How a Man Can Survive a Shopping Experience Without Having to Gnaw His Arm Off

 Preview
LIMITED TIME OFFER

3 months free
Try for £0.00
£8.99/mo thereafter. Renews automatically. Terms apply. Offer ends 31 July 2025 at 23:59 GMT.
Pick 1 audiobook a month from our unmatched collection.
Listen all you want to thousands of included audiobooks, Originals, and podcasts.
Access exclusive sales and deals.
Premium Plus auto-renews for £8.99/mo after 3 months. Cancel monthly.

Shopping Survival Guide for Men: How a Man Can Survive a Shopping Experience Without Having to Gnaw His Arm Off

By: Dan Van Oss
Narrated by: Johnny Heller
Try for £0.00

£8.99/mo after 3 months. Offer ends 31 July 2025 23:59 GMT. Cancel monthly.

Buy Now for £6.99

Buy Now for £6.99

Confirm Purchase
Pay using card ending in
Switch payment method
By completing your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and authorise Audible to charge your designated card or any other card on file. Please see our Privacy Notice, Cookies Notice and Interest-based Ads Notice.
Cancel

About this listen

A frank and hilarious guide to every man's mind-numbing nemesis: Shopping.

Guys, spent one too many Saturdays marooned at the mall? Rejuvenate your manhood with the Shopping Survival Guide for Men. This indispensable sanity-saver exposes the hidden history and insidious psychology of shopping. Hint: it's crazy. Plus, this book cool-headedly guides you through the treacherous, credit card-melting mazes of:

  • Shoes: "If you've ever been in the shoe section of any major department store, you now know what the gross national product of Belgium would look like if it consisted of footwear, which, for all I know about Belgium, it does."
  • Makeup: "Egyptians used cochineal bugs to make red dye for their lips, and I don't even care what 'cochineal' means because the word 'bugs' is after it."
  • Prom Dress Shopping: "Like most men, all you know about prom dresses is that they are more expensive than a good set of tires."
  • Fashion Terminology: "Puckered Bodice: A banned professional wrestling move involving a lemon, a folding chair, and a car battery."
  • Shopping History: "1687: Isaac Newton develops the law of universal gravity after his wife's shoe rack collapses on him."

Don't get dragged to the mall without it!

©2015 Dan Van Oss (P)2015 Dan Van Oss Literature & Fiction Satire Funny Witty
No reviews yet