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Trouble

A Memoir

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Trouble

By: Marise Gaughan
Narrated by: Marise Gaughan
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About this listen

Marise was nine when she first realised there was trouble, 14 when her dad tried to end it all, and 23 when he finally succeeded.

In a turmoil of conflicting emotions, Marise runs - from Dublin to Amsterdam to Los Angeles, leaving a trail of sex and self-destruction in her wake. Until finally, she finds herself facing what she's become in a California psych ward, a girl imploding through trying to make sense of her father's suicide.

As she retells her unravelling, from child to adult, Marise strips back her identity and her relationship with her father, layer by layer, until she starts to understand how to live with him, years after he has gone.

Written beautifully, with wit and unflinching honesty, Marise has produced one of the most profound coming-of-age memoirs of recent years, a stunning new voice in Irish writing.

©2022 Marise Gaughan (P)2022 Octopus Publishing Group
Biographies & Memoirs Grief & Loss Relationships
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What listeners say about Trouble

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Unexpectedly dark but brilliantly written and narrated

Marise pours out her soul in all its vivid colours and dark dark detail.
I bought the book after a reading a review in Irish independent. Not my usual read as a mid 40’s man but it gave me a glimpse into a world that I could not imagine exists. I did not know how cruel the world could be or how cruel we could make our world. Glad I read it but a little shocked that life can be like this.
I guess it puts my “rough times” in perspective
Thanks for writing it
Michael

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Searingly honest

A brilliant and blistering story of what happens after someone close to you takes their own life. And then how that fits in with growing up, alcoholism,family, love and mental ill health. I've never quite read anything as honest as this.

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darkly funny read

fantastic prose and deeply personal.
humourous candid and darkly optimistic.
A gem of a book. read it!

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Moving, funny, honest and harrowing

A triumph in writing for and a must-read those who feel disillusioned but angry they do. Gaughan’s lucidity about her mental struggles is a challenge to bear and yet you can’t help but want to hear more, help her, have fun with her, join her in sadness, laugh with her or yell at her. You’ll cry tears of all kinds, you’ll care, you’ll remember a question posed or musing contemplated while just doing other stuff throughout the day, and that’s what makes a great book!

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Warning

This book is highly addictive. I literally couldn't stop listening. A bananas wild story told and narrated fantastically.

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An excellent read

Marise's memoir is raw, honest and gripping all the way through. She does an amazing job at showing the effect trauma has on us all the while being very entertaining.

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Inner world laid bare - loved it

Such an interesting tale, full of smart insights, humour and painful memories in equal measures. Loved the female perspective as well.
Can’t help but think that part of the reason why the author struggles with the memory of her dad is because it’s also a memory of what could or should have been. There’s pain attached to a desire to go back and recreate what it could have been and even more pain grows because that is impossible, not just because of the passage of time but due to her dad’s passing.

Other people don’t get so caught up when their parents die maybe because everything was realised when they were still alive, there were no basic wants or needs left empty. They will feel sadness but not in a gut wrenching, madness inducing way because it doesn’t pull on those essential strings.

The author, as a child, also took the emotional weight and responsibility for someone else’s problems when she shouldn’t have and did that whilst her own needs were not being met. That will leave a hole and will lead to all sorts of strange encounters and relationships that attempt to fill that void with all the confusion and mess that brings.

It’s hard moving past this and it must feel like a bar or a weight has been set by precedent.

Therapy will definitely help to accept what’s gone before cannot be changed, help see that a child is not responsible for adult behaviour (in fact even an adult can’t be hold responsible for someone else’s issues in that sort of scenario - there’s only person who can truly help themselves) and establish that the best way forward is to carve a path that feels like your own path which can and should be independent from what has been. (I’m not a therapist of course it would not be so clear cut haha)
Good book!!!!

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