Meeting Emoni and listening to her pregnancy and birth reminds one of the classic interview of a young Serena Williams when the interviewer asked her repeatedly why she thought she was going to win her match. Her father Richard Williams interrupted the interview and told the reporter to “leave that alone.” The “that” he referred to was Serena’s confidence. He was deeply protective of that which he and her mother had built through practice and words. For those entrusted with the work of birth in any capacity and for those entrusted with someone sharing their birth wishes, “Leave that alone.” Birthing in confidence doesn’t mean to be ignorant of the possibilities that something could go wrong. But it does help shape the mind to prepare the body for the work ahead in pregnancy, labor, delivery, and parenthood. 

Emoni knew she didn’t want to give birth in a hospital. She connected with the resources within her community to help push her vision into motion. A local midwife, the dedicated doulas of ROOTT, her child’s father, and her mother were entrusted with her vision and supported her through the birthing experience from early conception through her first 18 months of motherhood. 

Laboring in her mother’s home at her own pace was an empowering experience. The birth she envisioned happened. Emoni’s mom described it as the most powerful birth she’d ever been present for. 

The high of labor would soon turn to postpartum lows. Despite having extended support from her doula, Emoni struggled with postpartum depression. Having support doesn’t mean you won’t experience mental health challenges. Postpartum depression can be the perfect storm of lower oxytocin and increased cortisol. Emoni did make her way through postpartum depression. She wishes she had asked for more help but more importantly, she wished she knew what she could ask for, reflections she hopes informs others. 

Restoring Our Own Through Transformation (ROOTT) | reproductive justice organization

LG Doula | full spectrum doula, birth & postpartum photographer