Exposure to books makes a big difference for children. Reading not only fosters cognitive and emotional development but also builds closeness and routines. This week, Leslie spoke to author Deborah Farmer Kris about her experience as a teacher and parent, highlighting the unique needs of each child and the intellectual and emotional challenges of parenting. Kris also promotes the use of public libraries and simple, consistent reading routines. Kris's books, including those in the "All the Time" series, aim to teach emotional literacy and provide caregiver tips. She stresses that being a stable, caring adult is crucial for a child's resilience and well-being.

About our guest: Deborah Farmer Kris is a parent educator, journalist, and children’s book author. Deborah has written for CNN, PBS KIDS, NPR, The Washington Post, the Boston Globe Magazine, and Oprah Daily. She is an advisor for the PBS KIDS show “Carl the Collector,” and is wrapping up edits on a parenting book, called “Raising Awe Seekers: How the Science of Wonder Can Help Our Kids Thrive.” She also founded the parenting website Parenthood365

Resources:

• To Learn more about Deborah Farmer Kris visit her Parenthood 365 Website
• Quick as a Cricket by Audrey Wood is a children's book that teaches that we all have many parts of us

Leslie-ism: Try to find 10 minutes a day to read to your child

For a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/ . You can also follow Leslie’s work on Facebook and Instagram. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences.

Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper, AJ Moultrié, Camila Salazar, and Leslie Cohen-Rubury. Theme music is by L-Ray Music. Transcriptions by Eric Rubury. A special thanks to everyone who contributes their wisdom and support to make this possible.

An unspoken agreement with parents raising children is that they will be on the same page and they will be a united front. But that is often easier said than done. In part 3 of our 3 part series with Mary, her husband Antoine joins us to discuss what happens when they disagree, how it affects their 6 year old Oliver, and what they’re doing to make sure they come back together in healthy ways.

Time Stamps

• 7:34 What does “being on the same page” mean to you?
• 9:51 What does it mean when your child picks up that you are two different people, with two different personalities
• 12:42 For some people, harmony is necessary for the nervous system
• 15:56 Parents might be comfortable with conflict, and your child might need extra reassurance that you’re okay
• 18:43 It’s okay to give children a sense of control in the situation
• 22:03 Start having your child become aware of their level of discomfort - check in with them, and have them name it
• 22:40 An incredible lesson for a child: I’m uncomfortable, and I can handle it
• 25:50 In uncomfortable moments, prepare the family to brave the storm, and that it will pass
• Sometimes we need to table arguments to have them away from children, but it is beneficial for children to see their parents arguing; it can be damaging to only see harmony/”perfection”
• 30:46 Learning to “fight fair”
• 34:28 Repair is incredibly important for children to witness
• 34:40 Ideas of mutual respect and benefit of the doubt
• 40:40 Definition of radical acceptance
• 44:29 Idea that we can be different and still respect each other’s ways; you’re respecting your individual differences
• 45:49 What do tolerating differences look like?

Resources:

• Sign up here to be a parent guest on Is My Child a Monster? Podcast
• Time Out: Resolving Family Conflicts available in both English and Spanish
• Rules on Fighting Fair provided by Therapist Aid

Leslie-ism: Mutual respect is key for repairing relationship ruptures

For a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/ . You can also follow Leslie’s work on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences.

Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper, AJ Moultrié, Camila Salazar, and Leslie Cohen-Rubury. Theme music is by L-Ray Music. Graphics and Website Design by Brien O’Reilly. Transcriptions by Eric Rubury. A special thanks to everyone who contributes their wisdom and support to make this possible.

Sometimes there’s nothing more frustrating than dealing with a frustrated child. In part 2 of our 3 part series with Mary, mother of six-year-old Oliver and a newborn baby James, Leslie explores just how exhausting being stuck in the frustration loop with your child can be—and how to break out of it. They also get into bedtime, setting limits, and parenting guilt.

Time Stamps

• 0:36 Low frustration tolerance
• 3:03 Letting go of expectations is about accepting the moment in order to move forward. Remember: it’s supposed to be hard
• 11:54 “I need him to” is a dangerous thing to say
• 23:09 The tough job of being a parent
• 23:12 Bearing witness to your child’s discomfort or pain
• 23:19 The guilt of doing it good enough
• 23:47 The definition of guilt; we don’t need the extra burden of it
• 25:36 When to give in, when to ignore and when to set limits - these are confusing choices all parents face.
• 30:41 Assessing is important: there’s a cause for all behavior
• 33:13 Kids may need to be active to actually calm down their neurological system before bed: compression, getting wrapped up in a blanket, hugging a teddy bear, etc
• 39:25 Allow the misbehavior to communicate what’s going on
• 39:47 Take a guess at why your child misbehaved: scared of nightmares, not wanting to end the day, feeling stimulated in his body and need to release tension of the day, wanting to be closer to mom.

Leslie-ism: Learn as you go, learn from the past, and learn from mistakes.

Resources:

• Sign up here to be a parent guest on Is My Child a Monster? Podcast
• Video of Three Ways to Deal with a Low Frustration Tolerance

For a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/ . You can also follow Leslie’s work on Facebook and Instagram. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences.

Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper, AJ Moultrié, Camila Salazar, and Leslie Cohen-Rubury. Theme music is by L-Ray Music. Graphics and Website Design by Brien O’Reilly. Transcriptions by Eric Rubury. A special thanks to everyone who contributes their wisdom and support to make this possible.