Do you suffer from depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, even psychosis? My guest today, Brownwyn Schweigerdt may be the most evocative psychotherapist you’ve ever heard. Instead of fixing peoples messes, her goal is to elicit the feelings we’re most ashamed to have, such as hatred, betrayal, anger, shame. She knows that even though feelings are invisible they don’t evaporate - instead they store away in our bodies when we disown them. These hidden feelings haunt us and cause mental illness until we externalize them into words… so stay tune and let’s have some words with Bronwyn.

Bronwyn has a masters degree in counseling and another in nutritions She is a public speaker, and author and licensed psychotherapist. I’m excited to have her on the show as depression and anxiety have shown up in my kids and I’m always looking for answers. So…let’s get right down to talking about this topic of how feelings buried alive cause us some serious harm.

Tune in to hear my discussion with Bronwyn and to hear us discuss questions like:

1. Let’s start with your story. What in your life brought you to want to specialize in this career, this topic?
2. Tell us about this idea of externalizing our feelings into words and the best ways to do that and not alienate the world.
3. You believe that most types of therapies and medications don’t work for depression and anxiety, let’s hear about that. There are a lot of people on meds.
4. What role does shame play in our lives?
5. How do we raise resilient children, and how do we help older children that may already suffer with some of these issues like depression and anxiety?

Find Bronwyn:

Podcast: Angry at the Right Things

Years ago - like really - 20-30 years ago, I read a book called Feelings Buried Alive Never Die. It became one of my go-to favorites because it explained so many things to me about myself. Things I didn’t understand about me. Bronwyn’s message is very much the same. If we bury feelings they show up in our body in different ways - illnesses, aches, weakness, stuff just not working right. Because our bodies and minds are so closely connected, I believe this is very likely true. I don’t think it’s the absolute cause for all that ails us, but I do believe that it effects us. Mental and physical are intertwined. As we create our best life stories on purpose we are always needing to process and grow from the emotions and the messiness that life generates. Understanding how to do this, like the things we’ve talked about today can be crucial to making changes that bless our lives, our minds, our hearts.

As we close I want to send my love and best wishes to all the listeners of the LYS podcast. I am getting ready to take a sabbatical from the show and I want to thank all the editors, listeners, supporters and people who have learned to love their story on our 8 year journey together. Thanks for being here. We’ll be back in the saddle in no time at all, but for now: Live your best life with intention and keep coming back to the Love Your Story library.

All the shows will still be available at www.LoveyourStorypodcast.com. There are almost 300 incredible episodes with incredible people, incredible stories that shine a light for the rest of us on how to navigate tough things, and incredible life hacks. Keep using the episodes. There is so much good to keep listening to! It’s all still here. Enjoy and happy travels on your life adventure.

Join us in this audio remastering of one of our earliest episodes. I quote May Swenson, share my experience in the moon-soaked darkness of the Teton mountains in Wyoming, and we talk about how being present to our senses...slowing down just enough to tune into our experience with all it's color, texture, and noise, makes all the difference in living a good life.

Thank you for being a listener of the Love Your Story podcast.

Welcome to the LYS Podcast. Have you heard of the “Yes…and” concept? It’s routed in improvisational theater, but for our purposes we are using it as a valuable approach to life. A life navigation tool.

“Yes….and” does two primary things.

The “Yes” creates acceptance. The “and” pulls us into the present moment - where we decide what to do next. Stay tuned for this quick chat that helps us move through hard things

“Yes… and” is a building block. What is does is acknowledge the reality before you with the YES. Then the “and” is the jumping off point for what you’ll do about it. How you’ll build on what is.

In the realm of improvisation, actors employ “Yes, and” to foster collaboration and creativity. When one actor introduces and idea or action their scene partner accepts it with a “yes and then they add on new information. The scene builds this way, one block - or one “yes, and” at a time.

The alternative is to fight what is…. the first actor just introduced an embarrassing idea that I don’t want to engage with. In the scene, I can’t stop and demand they change their contribution, I just get to keep the momentum building and decide what to do with it, how to build my way out of it…

For example - You’re in an improv scene where the first actor just admits to a crowd of people that you caught an STD in a salacious way, now it’s your turn to figure out how to turn this scene around. What do you do with this twist in the plot? In improv you simply have to make a choice what to do next. You can’t stomp off, you can’t demand they come up with something less personal, you don’t stop the show….you figure out how to play out the scene.

Ok. So let’s apply this simple concept to real life.

I have a sticky note on my desk that says “Yes, and…” in big letters. It reminds me that when something happens, when I’m struggling with something going on in my life, that sitting and wishing it was different, or letting it cause continued anxiety in me while I wallow in what is, are both completely in effective. They are the equivalent of being stuck in a mud bog. Here’s the hero of the story, stuck up to her thighs in a slimy mud bog.

Let’s just take today: I’m recording this in July. My lawn is dying in spots and it’s frustrating. I acknowledge every day that the crisp yellow grass shouldn’t be there, I’m watering it. But it is. So, I can keep feeling the frustration and knowing it shouldn’t be this way, day after day, or I can say Yes - this is happening, my lawn is struggling. Accept it, whether it “should” be that way or not. Now comes the “and.” What will I do differently about this thing? I will water it more, and/or I will change fertilizer. A decision has been made. I’ve accepted what is and I’ve moved on to action.

Next example: I’m working with a new group of women doing the 21 LIFE Connection Challenges. We started out with almost 10 people and after the first week only 4 are checking in regularly. Now, I have a number of feelings about this. 1. I know this is how it goes. Every time. It takes a modicum of dedication to stick with the challenges and most of the time less than half of the groups make it through. Not because the challenges are terribly hard, but they lose focus, get busy, put it off. So, I know this is going to happen but I still feel bad for all the great women who are missing out on what they could have gotten out of it. 2. I feel frustration that discipline is so hard for so many. So the first thing that I need to do to stop resentment from building is to accept that it’s happening and then decide how I want to deal with it. The “and” for me on this one is that I want to give all my best attention to those who stick with

Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast! Today we’re here for a dose of inner peace. Isn’t that what we’re all searching for? Some days we may have a taste, some days it’s a million miles away.

Today Sohale Sizar, the founder of Soul, with the mission to illuminate the daily practice of gratitude for his rapidly growing online community, - which I”m a part of - is here and we’re talking about the practice of spiritual alchemy, knowing ourselves, and finding that illusive inner peace and joy. Stay tuned. We have something for you.

LYS Quip

Sohale Sizar has been an entrepreneur since the age of nine with fifteen years of dedicated practice in meditation and gratitude. Sohale translated his experiences into earning a Stanford MBA and building ventures spanning non-profit charities, education, and consumer technology. Sohale is now an entrepreneur on a mission to facilitate access to one's inner light. - Let’s find that inner light.

Sohale, thank you for being here today.

Join us on the audio program to hear our discussion about thing like this:

1. Tell us your story - usually we all have something happen in our lives that helps us learn or understand a thing better, and then we often want to share it. First - How did you get to this place, Second - what is your mission, and Third - how do you do it?
2. What is spiritual alchemy?
3. What do you think creates inner peace?
4. What is an “inner light”?
5. What sorts of ways do you suggest we “get to know ourselves?”

Thanks for being here today. I know your time is precious and we honor the time you spend with us.

Join us in two weeks for a Quick Chat - One Inspirational Idea in 15 minutes or less. And please, share this episode - it’s super easy to do - just send a link to someone you know. It’s a great way to share the love and make the world better.

The Love Your Story podcast will be taking a break toward the end of 2024. Thanks for being a part of our audience. I'd love to hear from you about your favorite episode or what you've enjoyed about the show. lorijlee@msn.com

Have a great week living your life on purpose.

Finding Sohale Sizar:

Website: https://www.bringsoul.life/ , https://www.sohale.org/about

Facebook:

Welcome to the LYS Podcast. Let’s talk about road maps! Ever wished you had a road map to help life go a little smoother?

How many every-day situations do we just barge our way through? For most of us - that would be almost all of them. We head to a family party only to leave having gotten in a fight with a sibling because we got caught up in a reactive situation. We go on a walk with a friend and feel frustrated that the conversation was so focused on their bad relationship. We head into a client meeting and come out feeling like that could have gone better and we should have gotten more accomplished.

It’s a simple question: How could this experience have gone better if I’d clarified ahead of time what I wanted out of this interaction. Stay tuned because this tool changes everything.

This simple idea today is about checking in with yourself before you head into any situation, to see what you really hope it holds for you. This is SOOO simple, but so powerful. #LIFEHACK

Setting a clear intention before entering in to an interaction is a tool that shapes the dynamics of human interaction. It shapes your stress levels. It shapes what you allow to bother you and what you let slide. It shapes what you talk about and what you don’t talk about. It shapes what you focus on. It shapes your energy. In summary - it provides a simple road map for you, for the interaction, guiding your thoughts, words and actions.

This proactive approach fosters first - clarity for you and second, greater success in getting what you want from the situation.

When you are clear with yourself, about what you want to get out of an interaction you are much more likely to get that outcome-

Let me show you what I mean: I’m taking my boys skiing. If I identify before hand that my purpose with this outing is to build relationships with them, then I can clarify ahead of time that it’s not about doing the hardest runs I can find, it’s not about penny pinching by heading to the car at lunch to eat PB & Js. It’s about relationship building. Once I know that I can forgo my own desire to hit the hardest trails, if they don’t want to go on those same trails and it’s not a big deal. There is no struggle on the hill and I’ve already decided I’m not going to go shooting off to do my own runs. I already know that it’s about spending time with them and enjoying the runs they want to do. I can also choose to splurge on a lunch because they are young men who love a big juicy burger - I’ve identified before hand that t’s not about the money, it’s about the time with them. We can sit around the table and talk and enjoy ski lodge burgers.

Example #2 - Before a client meeting I might identify with myself that despite a huge list of things I need to cover with my clients, that this meeting is all about helping them understand the process involved in buying a home so they are clear on what to expect. It’s not about getting paperwork signed, or overwhelming them with all the dotted i’s and crossed t’s - even though those things are in my mind. When I stop and pin point what I really want from this meeting I can direct it, stay on point, not get discouraged that everything doesn’t get done, not force too much on them. Again, this pre determination allows me to proceed smoothly and unemotionally through the process of what I want to accomplish in this interaction and let all the other factors fall away for now.

One of the things I personally love about this is how much peace it brings to me in my interactions. It’s a great tool to help manage emotions. Interactions with family, friends, bosses, clients, etc. can all be very complex.. I have hot buttons and money issues. I have expectations

Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. I’m your host Lori Lee.

Can we agree that our thought habits basically build our worlds? How small we stay, how big we become, what we allow, what we don’t allow, how much we sacrifice, how hard money is to come by, etc. etc. these type of thought habits are the spaces we function from. In today’s show we are talking about thought habits, with the expert Amy Kemp, author of “I See You.”

Stay tuned for my in-depth conversation with this certified Habit Finder coach who has worked with literally hundreds to help people see how our habits impact our lives and how we can replace unhealthy thought habits with more healthy ones.

Amy Kemp not only coaches, but she also gives workshops, speaks on stage, and has now released her new book: I See You. I’m excited to sit with Amy to learn and share as we talk about this powerful piece of our lives - our habits. So let’s hop right in.

Amy, Welcome to the show.

Please join us on the audio program to hear our discussion about the following:

At the start of your book you share this wonderful story of meeting with a woman for the first time, a woman who, as you had coffee shared her career path, her accolades, her successes. A woman who looked to have everything together. When she asked why you had asked her to lunch, you said, “Because I see you. Because I really see you.” Which brought the woman to tears. - WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY “I REALLY SEE YOU?’

What does a certified Habit Finder Coach do?

What are some of the most oft seen habits you see that do not serve people?

What habits do you replace those with?

Boundaries - Let’s talk about thought habits and boundaries. (Let her speak) In your book you quote Prentis Hemphill and her definition, “Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.”

In your book you ask a questions, “Wht if everything we want and are trying to create depends on only 1 thing: how connected we are to the source from which all things come?

Do you believe this and why?

Let’s get back to habits - If you had one tool that you have seen really make a difference in helping people realize which habits are holding them back what would it be?

How do we change unhealthy habit? Tell us the story of “Respect the mile.)

Share with us what you have to offer: your coaching, your book, where listeners can find you.

How to find Amy Kemp and the Habit Finder Tool:

Website: Amylynnkemp.com

Insta: @amykempinc

Email: amy@amylynnkemp.com

Often times our habits are something we aren’t even aware of. I certainly do not believe I am aware of all of mine. In fact I am aware of very few of mine. I hope our conversation with Amy Kemp, today, has given you a gentle awareness - a reminder of how important it is to understand the habits - THE AUTOPILOT - we are allowing to run our lives, to create our worlds. To live intentionally - which is what this show is all about - is to be aware, and to make choices, actively.

Blessings to you and yours. May you see your habits as they truly are and use your power to shift what you wish to shift, to respect the mile you are currently running. Until the next show - Live beautifully and with heart. See you in two weeks.

Welcome to the LYS Podcast. These quick chats are written around an idea that stands out to me that I want to chat with you about. Something that we can discuss in under 15 minutes that will hopefully be as interesting to you as it was to me.

Todays is about how our lives are not one big story, they are made up of a bunch of smaller stories - lots of beginnings, middles, and ends. And I especially want to talk a little about the messy middles.

Tune into the audio for this quick chat that I hope will give a little reprieve if you’re stuck in a messy middle, some hope if you’re at the end of something you didn’t want to end, and maybe some excitement at what new beginnings may be around the corner.

This week I read an email from Mary Alice Arthur, a story practitioner that I had on the show on episode 217 where we talked about “What is the most important story in the world.” Her email really hit home with me and I wanted to share it with you.

Today we’re talking about how we like to think of life as one big story, but in reality life is made up of a bunch of shorter stories - There are new beginnings, new adventures, new experiences, new starts. And there are other stories in our lives that are ending - the end of a project, the end of a job or a relationship, the death of someone or something. But the part I want to talk most about is the MESSY MIDDLE. The messy middle strikes me right now because it’s such an uncomfortable place where we often don’t know what is going to happen next. How will we find our way through? There is a lot of unknown.

One of the ways you can tell you’re in the Messy Middle, Mary Alice says, is that things don’t make sense any more. What you used to do isn’t working. Things feel out of control.

This was comforting to me to acknowledge that confusion may be part of the process of living because I must be in the messy middle of a lot of things. Menopause is upon me and the “me” I used to know is no longer the “me” that is here. My body is weaker, my skin is less resilient, my energy and drive have abandoned me. I’ve been really struggling with not recognizing who I am. Really struggling. So when I read her ideas on the middle, I thought, “Oh, I’m in the messy middle. I don’t know how this is going to turn out because I don’t have it figured out yet. I haven’t figured out hormone adjustments. I haven’t come to grips with a slower self. I haven’t relaxed into acceptance yet. Perhaps it’s not the end of the world as I know it, it’s just the messy middle.”

I’m also at a loss as how to deal with my adult children who are struggling with depression and existential crisis. Nothing I do helps them. I’m at a complete loss and it’s painful. I must be in the messy middle.

We’re looking at a variety of financial investments. The pieces aren’t coming together as fast as I’d like. It’s dragging on. I guess we’re in the messy middle.

Mary Alice asks the question: What do you do when you’re in the messy middle? She suggests that sometimes the best thing to do is simply make a move. Get your hands dirty.

I think this is great advice. I probably like it so much because it gives us power. I have a number of thought quotes at my desk. They say things like: “Yes…and” This saying reminds me that when something happens the best move is simply to acknowledge it and then decide the next best move.

The next sticky note thought on my desk says, “Get curious about new ways of doing things.” The next one says, “Follow your intuition.”

The pattern here is that all these reminders are about taking action. We won’t get any where - we’ll stay exactly where we are if we don’t push on the gas. So push on the gas and steer as corners come up, but just sitting...

How to get a Seat on your Adult Kids’ Board of Directors.

Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast! I’m your host Lori Lee and today we are talking about the complexity and balance of interacting with and influencing our adult children.

My guests today are Emily and Erik Orton, You’ll remember them from Episode 133 - Seven at Sea, where we talked about the year they took their 5 kids and lived on a sail boat.This was one of my all-time favorite episodes because I so loved the things Erik and Emily shared.

I’m very excited to have them back on the show! But I’m also excited because I’m personally having a hard time getting on the board of directors for my adult kids - or in other words, I’m not having a great deal of success having any influence with my adult children. How do they still think I have nothing to share with them….???? What am I doing wrong?

Stay tuned as we get to talk shop with Erik and Emily as they share their expertise they have developed and share through their business The Awesome Factory.

Erik + Emily Orton - Erik is an Emmy Award-winning writer and producer. Emily is an educator, author and public speaker. Their life design framework mutes fear and accelerates growth. They are parents to five kids raised in Manhattan, where Erik worked on such shows as Wicked, Les Miserables and The Phantom of the Opera. When their kids were 6-16 years old, Erik and Emily bootstrapped life aboard a fixer upper sailboat in the Caribbean. They sailed as a family from St. Martin back to New York City. Their memoir about the experience (Seven at Sea) is a New York Times Top 10 Travel book. After life on the boat, they continued to travel the world with their children through Europe, the South Pacific, Africa, and across North and South America in planes, trains, boats and vans. They are the co-founders of The Awesome Factory, a coaching and travel adventure company that leads retreats and sailing adventures all over the world.

Emily and Erik - Welcome back to Love Your Story!

TUNE INTO THE AUDIO DISCUSSION TO HEAR THE THOUGHTS ON THESE AND OTHER IDEAS:

1. Lets start with your story. That introduction gave everyone a super quick look at the adventures of your past decade, but I’d love to have you share some of the highlights you’ve had with your family - particularly those that have helped you build relationship with them in a way that they now give you a place on their board of directors.
2. You coach and direct a great deal regarding empty nesters and dealing with adult children. How did you metamorphose into this space of expertise?
3. Let’s jump right in - I attended an entire evening presentation on this topic, with you, so I know there is lots to talk about. How do we get on our adult kids’ board of directors?
4. What kinds of things do you have coming up and where can people find you?

Finding the Ortons:

Here is the link to The 100 Year Grid:

https://www.theawesomefactory.nyc/100

They tell all about how to use it in episode 18 of their podcast - What Could Go Right?

The 100 Year Grid – How to Visualize Your Whole Life on 1 Sheet of Paper