john

Ladies and gentlemen, I hope you are listening to the show in the traditional position. You're in an Adirondack chair, you're naked, and a lover has placed a napkin over your genitals so they don't get sunburned, and you're having a nice cool drink, perhaps a Sierra Mist, or if you're in Canada, an Orange Crush splash of soda water to cut. The sugary soda of the Orange Crush. That, by the way, quality fucking camping drink. Just a splash, Orange Crush, in your soda water. Woo-woo!

No one talks about using soda in the way that you would use liquor with a different mixer. In fact, that's the only time that that's good. Any of the other drinks I was just imagining, I threw, oh, let's put some Pepsi in this fucking lemon Sierra Miss. That's a really bad red wine mixed 50 with Coca Cola, which I was shown by some Russian guys in the basement of a hostel in London in 2011 while watching the Super Bowl.

That's top notch stuff, holy shit. Like it's rot gut, like be prepared to your, like internal organs are angry at you. You didn't know that your kidneys could have emotions. I'll tell you who else has emotions. Our producer Paul, who's upset that no one has asked him to give me a question, but now we're gonna do it. All right, Paul. Hi.

Producer Paul

Oh John, what's the weirdest thing you've ever overheard in a conversation?

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john

Once again, we ride in the ether in between the stardust having espressas. Quick note, the Space Jam movie with LeBron James came out like a year or two ago. Bugs Bunny is fine. Let's see if I can forget other important moments in culture by answering our next question. Paul? Paul.

Producer Paul

John, what's the worst joke you've ever heard and can you share it with us?

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john (00:10.51)

Once again, you're sipping on a glass of port or maybe a different type of aperitif. You've finished a fine meal of suckling ham, side of chicken, still proud to say keto. I, of course, am John Hastings. We're gonna answer a question. A question will be read out by producer Paul. Producer Paul will read out that question now, I think.

Producer Paul (00:36.085)

John, if you could be a cartoon character for a day, who would you be and what mischief would you get into?

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