When I left my sister's on Thanksgiving afternoon, I hugged her goodbye and suddenly broke into sobbing tears. There were so many emotions tangled up in that moment. I think the love and gratitude for being around my family members all at once—something I hadn’t experienced in a year and a half—was overwhelming. And then I was exhausted, navigating my chronic condition throughout the visit, which had taken its toll.

But what I focused on after that was gratitude. If I wasn’t sober, I wouldn’t have felt any of those deep emotions. As part of my sobriety program, I had the chance to make amends to people I care about whose lives were affected by my drinking. Recently, I was reminded that making amends isn’t about how the other person responds. It’s about how I live after I’ve handed it over. Their response isn’t the focus—my response is. I focus on living out a lifelong amends.

As life keeps ticking by, I’m learning to focus on what I can control rather than what I can’t. I’m learning to live without expectations. And I’m learning that my past follows me like a shadow—until I pause and take the time to set it free.

Listen wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube.
Visit me at ⁠⁠⁠recoverydailypodcast.com⁠⁠⁠ or email me at ⁠rachel@recoverydailypodcast.com⁠.

#GratitudeJourney #Sobriety #LivingAmends #ThanksgivingReflection #FamilyHealing #SobrietyGratitude #LettingGoOfThePast #HealingThroughLove #FocusOnWhatMatters #ShadowToLight

In the movie Talladega nights, there's a scene where Will Ferrell is being interviewed and his hands keep rising up into view. He says, “I’m not sure what to do with my hands.” Having spent most of my life with a wine glass in one hand and a cigarette in the other, I didn't know what to do with my hands when I stopped drinking. I watched what other people who weren't drinking did with their hands. Isn’t that fascinating?! I practiced holding my hands by my sides no matter how icky and uncomfortable it felt. I practiced talking with my hands. Eight years later and my hands are a comfortable part of my body now.

With Thanksgiving upon us, I have been reflecting over my years of holiday drinking. It’s easy to romance the drink when I reflect on these happy times. I have to play the tape forward though to remember the life-threatening ending to my drinking career.

I often say about my drinking behavior that I was having a party, and I was the only one comin’. Alcohol intensified my feelings of happiness and fun. I didn’t notice that nobody else was drinking like me.

This year I’m grateful for the fun I’m going to have

cuddling my new great niece Paisley

sharing my Moroccan soup and strawberry banana bread with family

This year, I’m especially grateful for the rare gift of being surrounded by loved ones all at once—a blessing I didn’t fully appreciate until my disability made those moments harder to come by.

Listen wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube. Visit me at ⁠⁠⁠recoverydailypodcast.com⁠⁠⁠ or email me at ⁠rachel@recoverydailypodcast.com⁠.

#SoberHolidays #LivingSober #GratefulHeart #HolidaySobriety #SoberLiving #FunWithoutAlcohol #ProfessionalPartier #ThanksgivingGratitude #RecoveryJourney #FindingJoySober #soberfun

How often do you hear yourself saying these phrases:

I'm gonna…

I will try…

I want to…

I have to…

I need to…

These phrases are excuses to not DO today. Try saying “I will…” And see how this small change feels. It helps to not future-trip, and instead be a daily planner. It's 24 hour living.

Do today what you will be proud of tomorrow.

I spent way too long regretting the day before. I lived in the future and regretted the past.

In my career, I was always chasing the next title. When I had to stop drinking, I thought I’d never have fun again. When I was forced to medically retire, I feared I’d never amount to anything. But I was wrong. Sobriety and retirement didn’t mean losing myself—they meant finding myself. These changes gave me the opportunity to truly enjoy being me. Without the distractions, I’ve finally come to know—and be grateful for—who I am.

Listen wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube.
Visit me at ⁠⁠⁠recoverydailypodcast.com⁠⁠⁠ or email me at ⁠rachel@recoverydailypodcast.com⁠.

#LivingInThePresent #24HourLiving #DoItNow #FindingYourself #DailyPlanning #SobrietyJourney #SelfDiscovery #GratitudeInRecovery #NoMoreExcuses #EmbraceChange