💬 Finding love on Discord is possible. Even if your Player 2 is the streamer who created the server. That said, there are some things you should keep in mind and that you want to avoid. After all, you can't meet anyone in person if you get banned! 📵

In this episode, GamerMomLuna and Jason share how they went from a Twitch chat NPC to streamer relationship to a co-op campaign building a life under the same roof 🏡 It wasn't an overnight evolution, and it wasn't planned, either.

🖥️ Jason had been watching Luna's streams and participating in the chat for a while before deciding to join her Discord. There, he was just another member joining random conversations. One day, a single thread turned into an epic-long dialogue. The rest of the server wasn’t invested, but they’d rolled a natural 20 on connection. It was time to move to a private conversation 🤫

☝️ They are the perfect example of how to transition from regular chat to DM. It's not about finding an excuse good enough to slide into someone's DMs. After all, they can block you, report you, or ghost you. It's about knowing that they want to hear from you as much as you want to hear from them 🙂‍↕️

Once there, the usual conversation rules apply. Talk about your shared passions, and get to know the person behind the screen. Eventually, the curiosity might kick in, and you can go on a date, hang out, or even invite them to your next TTRPG session! 🎲

🎧 Press play if you're hoping to meet someone online! 🛜

🖤 FREE GUIDE: Where (And How) To Meet Your Player 2 Organically 🎮

200+ ideas and a guide to help you on your Relationship Quest!

Download it for free at https://www.rolltodate.com/where

📱 Have questions? Join me on Discord! https://www.rolltodate.com/discord

Donate to Extra Life: https://www.extra-life.org/participant/GamerMom-Luna

Luna's Links:

• https://linktr.ee/GamerMomLuna
• https://www.twitch.tv/gamermomluna
• https://www.youtube.com/@GamerMomLuna
• https://www.threads.net/@gamermomluna
• https://www.instagram.com/gamermomluna/
• https://www.tiktok.com/@thegamermomluna

Related Episodes:

• Find Love Through Online Games, with Kaylee Lopez https://www.rolltodate.com/podcast/find-love-through-online-games/
• The TTRPG Group https://www.rolltodate.com/podcast/the-ttrpg-group/
• Rejected, Friendzoned, and Not Reading the Signals https://www.rolltodate.com/podcast/rejected-friendzoned-nerd-love-story/
• Find Your Nerd Community https://www.rolltodate.com/podcast/nerd-community/

Timestamps for lazy nerds:

• 00:00:00 Intro
• 00:00:43 What Makes Them Nerds
• 00:02:01 Twitch Streamer's Discord
• 00:06:16 Transitioning to DMs
• 00:10:11 More Than Friends
• 00:13:41 First Date
• 00:19:23 Making it Official
• 00:21:54 Avoiding The Friend Zone
• 00:26:48 From Discord to DMs
• 00:28:20 Extra Life

Contact:
dm@rolltodate.com or
@rolltodate on social media

👾 How do people find a partner who plays online video games? It often feels like you're damned if you join a community looking for a relationship, and you're damned if you don't (because how else can you meet someone outside dating apps?!) 🤨

🎮 In this episode, I talk to Kaylee Lopez, an anthropologist who writes about gaming and game communities. We explore the ways you can integrate yourself into communities, unlock the gamer branch of your Social Tree, and find your Player 2. Literally! 🕹️

⌨️ Meeting gamers has its own set of challenges that are different from meeting people IRL 🖥️ On the one hand, most people don't play video games to find their soulmate (just like with most communities). So even if you're brave enough to approach NPCs, most people don't want to be hit on immediately 🙅

💬 On top of that, if you do start talking to someone and hitting it off with them... you know absolutely nothing about them. And even if you did and had some interaction, whether you'd get along in person remains uncertain.

And to top it off, even if all of that does work out... they may live too far away from you! ✈️ So even if you manage to find your soulmate, they may exist all the way across the world with neither of you wanting to move 🌎

So with all of these odds against you, could it ever happen? The answer is YES.

🎧 Press Start to learn how to find your Player 2! 🧑‍💻

🖤 FREE GUIDE: Where (And How) To Meet Your Player 2 Organically 🎮

200+ ideas and a guide to help you on your Relationship Quest!

Download it for free at https://www.rolltodate.com/where

📱 Have questions? Join me on Discord! https://www.rolltodate.com/discord

About Kaylee Lopez

Kaylee is an anthropologist who writes about gaming and game communities. She's also a certified therapeutic game master, game writer, and game editor.

Kaylee's Links:

• https://kayleelopez.com/
• https://www.instagram.com/the_gaming_anthropologist/
• https://www.threads.com/@the_gaming_anthropologist
• http://patreon.com/anthroriot

Related Episodes:

• Find Your Nerd Community https://www.rolltodate.com/podcast/nerd-community/
• The Tolkien Association https://www.rolltodate.com/podcast/the-tolkien-association/
• Text Confession Gone Wrong, No Proper Dates, and Critical Fails https://www.rolltodate.com/podcast/text-confession-no-dates/

Timestamps for lazy nerds:

• 00:00:00 Intro
• 00:00:58 Finding Love Within Online Games
• 00:04:56 Joining With Honesty
• 00:07:47 IRL vs Online Chemistry
• 00:09:56 Find Gamers In Your Area
• 00:14:16 Expanding Your Social Tree
• 00:18:05 Breakups Within Communities

Contact:
dm@rolltodate.com or
@rolltodate on social media

👀 Can your Tolkien hyperfixation get in the way of your Love at First Sight?

Love at first sight is rare. But if it happened, what would you do? Would you talk to them or text them first? What if they don't like you? What if you don't know what to talk about? What if you have nothing in common? Or worse, what if you overwhelm them with your hyperfixation about Tolkien? There's only one way to find out. 👇

In this episode, Kaia shares how she managed to date her now-fianceé... with a little help from her boss. 👨🏻‍💼 Because Kaia knew she wanted to marry Celania as soon as they met. But her social anxiety blocked her from a conversation in person or even via text! 😫

🧝‍♀️ One of Kaia's fears was related to her passion for Tolkien's work. The same hyperfixation that led her to become a Tolkien-centered content creator didn't help her when relating to others. She knew she would often overshare information about the Lord of the Rings. Way more often (and longer) than most people enjoyed. 🥱

And she was right. However, she didn't know Celania was into Star Wars and LEGO 🪐 Not LotR. Fantasy and sci-fi can be considered opposite fandoms. But they're still close enough that they'll understand each other better than most. Over time, however, they became interested in each other's passions, which built more trust and security and strengthened their relationship.

🙅‍♀️ Sometimes, people won't share your interests or humor. And that's ok. But if you take small steps and test for their interest slowly, you might find someone who'll want to spend their life with you 💍

🎧 Listen to this episode to find a partner who enjoys your hyperfixation! 💪

🖤 WHERE TO MEET YOUR PLAYER 2 ORGANICALLY🎮

200+ places and a walkthrough to guide you on your Quest!

Download for FREE at https://www.rolltodate.com/where

📱Join me on Discord! https://www.rolltodate.com/discord

Kaia Kay's Links:

https://beacons.ai/kaiakayy

https://www.instagram.com/kaiakayy/

https://youtube.com/@kaiakayy

https://www.tiktok.com/@kaiakays

https://bsky.app/profile/kaiakayy.bsky.social

https://www.threads.net/@kaiakayy

Related Episodes:

1. Text Confession Gone Wrong, No Proper Dates, and Critical Fails
2. Shy meets Socially Anxious, and Going Slow
3. The Tolkien Association
4. Find Your Nerd Community

Timestamps for lazy nerds:

• 00:00:00 Intro
• 00:00:36 What Makes Kaia a Nerd
• 00:02:15 Love at First Sight
• 00:04:01 Fear of Rejection
• 00:05:12 Info-Dumping
• 00:05:59 Afraid to Text Your Crush
• 00:10:07 Testing for Compatibility with Humor
• 00:15:03 Forced First Date
• 00:19:05 Disclosing Your Sexuality
• 00:23:51 Signs of a Good Date
• 00:24:59 Second Date
• 00:26:27 Unprepared for Conversation
• 00:28:47 Avoiding Info-Dumping
• 00:36:15 Dealing with Opposing Fandoms
• 00:40:18 Kaia's Contacts

#datingtips #datingadvice #dating #nerdlife #nerd #gamer #single #socialskills #podcast #tolkien #lotr #starwars

Contact:
dm@rolltodate.com or
@rolltodate on social media

😇 The alternative to being a Nice Guy™ is often considered to be a Bad Boy 👨‍🎤 Because many people think that the problem is being a good person. And, sure, some people might be attracted to that... in the short term. But if you're looking to build a healthy and loving relationship, you may want to look into becoming a Kind Person, instead 😌

🖤 In this episode, April returns to share what made her fall for her husband Scott. It wasn't his wealth (he lived in an RV), or being a nerd (he watched Star Trek and played video games), or his physique (we'll just believe her with that). It was him being "the kindest man she'd ever known." 😍

🤔 What sometimes goes wrong with Nice Guys™ is giving with unspoken (and not agreed upon) expectations (a.k.a. manipulation) and a lack of boundaries. Some examples could be giving gifts or doing favors for someone you don't have a close relationship with, often at the expense of your own problems, expecting them to like you or do something for/with you 🎁

❌ If you feel like you've been rejected for being a Nice Guy™ and you have to turn into a Bad Boy, give this episode a listen. You'll find many ways to become more attractive as a kind, good, and generous person 💪

🎧 Listen now and trade the Nice Guy™ for the Kind Person!

🖤 FREE GUIDE: Where (And How) To Meet Your Player 2 Organically 🎮

200+ ideas and a guide to help you on your Relationship Quest!

Download it for free at https://www.rolltodate.com/where

📱 Have questions? Join me on Discord! https://www.rolltodate.com/discord

April's Nerd Love Story: https://www.rolltodate.com/podcast/nerd-wedding/

Boundaries Blog Post: https://www.rolltodate.com/skills/shields-boundaries/

Vulnerability Blog Post: https://www.rolltodate.com/skills/be-like-a-barbarian-be-vulnerable/

Socials:

• https://www.instagram.com/legiodith13
• https://www.threads.net/@legiodith13
• https://bsky.app/profile/legiodith.bsky.social

Timestamps for lazy nerds:

• 00:00:00 Intro
• 00:00:41 Being a Nice Guy
• 00:04:52 Kind Person Behaviors
• 00:09:07 Working on Your Mental Health
• 00:13:31 Weird Acts of Kindness
• 00:17:18 Boundary Problems with Nice Guys

Contact:
dm@rolltodate.com or
@rolltodate on social media

🍜 Looking for a waifu, husbando, or just a partner who enjoys anime? Animé Los Angeles could be the perfect place for you to unlock the weeb branch of your Social Tree. Whether you like to cosplay, read manga, or even build miniatures, there are many ways for you to meet people over this 4-day event!

🍣 In this episode, Matthew Lewis shares how otakus can socialize at Animé Los Angeles. Every day, you'll have opportunities to make friends who share your passion for all things anime-related. Some of these are built-in, and others you can initiate yourself 🥷

🎙️ One option is designed as a speed-dating type of event (to make friends): you'll have a few minutes to talk 1-on-1 or in small groups. However, unlike regular speed dating, you'll get to cross paths with these people for the rest of the event!

🤖 Another option is activities where talking is not the focus, such as assembling model kits. In this case, you can take it slow and simply focus on what you're doing until you feel comfortable enough to start a conversation. 🦾 We also share with you some tips to start conversations this way.

And speaking of starting conversations, cosplayers are often open to interacting with people who share a passion for their character or show they're cosplaying. 👺 As a cosplayer himself, Matt shared how (and when) he likes to be approached, what kind of interactions he likes to have, and what is generally expected and accepted by the cosplay community 🧛

🎧 Want to meet other weebs? Listen to this episode to get some inspiration! 💡

🖤 FREE GUIDE: Where (And How) To Meet Your Player 2 Organically 🎮

200+ ideas and a guide to help you on your Relationship Quest!

Download it for free at https://www.rolltodate.com/where

📱 Have questions? Join me on Discord! https://www.rolltodate.com/discord

Animé Los Angeles:

Get your badge! https://animelosangeles.org/registration/attendee-registration/

https://animelosangeles.org/

https://www.instagram.com/anime_los_angeles

https://www.facebook.com/AnimeLosAngelesCon

https://discord.com/invite/Axu3BDnc

Matthew Lewis:

https://maguma.carrd.co/

https://www.instagram.com/maguma.usagi/

Related Episodes:

• Find Your Nerd Community: Where to Meet Nerds, with Jose https://www.rolltodate.com/podcast/nerd-community/
• Cosplayers and Conventions: the Nerd Love Story of Elyse and Matt https://www.rolltodate.com/podcast/cosplayers-and-conventions/

Timestamps for lazy nerds:

• 00:00:00 Intro
• 00:00:40 What is Animé Los Angeles
• 00:01:36 Icebreaker Activities
• 00:04:47 Connecting Through Activities
• 00:05:41 NOT Speed Dating
• 00:07:26 Interactive Socializing
• 00:08:42 How To Make Friends
• 00:11:36 Approaching Strangers
• 00:19:41 Non-Harassment Policy
• 00:25:34 Discord and Tickets

Contact:
dm@rolltodate.com or
@rolltodate on social media

🦸 One convention might not be enough to get to know someone. But as you start attending more often and keeping in touch with everyone, feelings can start to develop. In the case of cosplayers, their passion for specific characters is just one more thing for them to bond over 😍

Elyse was introduced to Matt by her group of cosplayer friends. They got along well and exchanged contacts on the spot 📱 However, it took a decade for them to end up together! Times just didn't align. It took several encounters and a friend's wedding for them to start chatting more often. Funnily enough, they never confessed their feelings. Matt just assumed they were dating and decided to make it public! 😱

📝 This story is a great example of how making friends and meeting someone many different times can help you find your Player 2. It's not necessary to jump at someone attractive the first time you see them. And if you didn't click or didn't get their number the first time, there might be a next. It's not guaranteed. There's always an element of luck. But if that person was a part of your group of friends, you'll roll with advantage 🎲

Being part of a group of friends doesn't mean seeing the same people at the same recurring events, though 👀 It means developing relationships with them where you all meet to do different activities and get to know each other in different contexts. In their case, Elyse and Matt not only met at conventions, but the pivotal point was their friend's wedding. Not a convention. 💒

💡 So keep these lessons in mind next time you go socializing! Saw someone you wanted to talk to but didn't get to? There could be another time! 🤩

🎧 Press Start and see how cosplaying and conventions could lead to your Player 2!

🖤 FREE GUIDE: WHERE (AND HOW) TO MEET YOUR PLAYER 2 ORGANICALLY 🎮
Download it at https://www.rolltodate.com/where

📱Join me on Discord! https://www.rolltodate.com/discord

Elyse's Links:

https://linktr.ee/princessbilbo

https://www.instagram.com/princessbilbo

https://www.tiktok.com/@princessbilbo

https://www.facebook.com/PrincessBilbo

https://www.threads.net/@princessbilbo

Related Episodes:

• Finding Your Nerd Community, with Jose: https://www.rolltodate.com/podcast/nerd-community/
• The Tolkien Association: Where to Meet Nerds, with Vir: https://www.rolltodate.com/podcast/the-tolkien-association/

Timestamps for lazy nerds:

• 00:00:00 Intro
• 00:00:58 What Makes Elyse a Nerd
• 00:02:38 Cosplayers Introducing Each Other
• 00:06:13 Asking for the Number
• 00:07:47 First Impression
• 00:09:57 Schroedinger Date
• 00:14:15 Mismatched Timings
• 00:16:49 Going Public Online
• 00:19:28 Dating as Asexual
• 00:21:23 Closing

Contact:
dm@rolltodate.com or
@rolltodate on social media

🔎 Finding your community can sometimes be challenging. Even within the same hobby, different groups may be polar opposites. Even within the Argentine Tolkien Association, the online forum didn't always fit with the association 🧩

In this episode, I bring Jose back to talk about how we found a place where each of us felt we belonged 😌 Not feeling like we fit in with most people around us growing up, in the Argentine Tolkien Association, we found those who made us feel appreciated and welcomed. Even if we didn't "fit the popular norm." 🥰

🧪 Sometimes, finding your people may take trial and error. Some communities have a demographic younger or older than what you'd like, or the people might have values that don't match yours, or they may simply not be a good match. Whatever the case may be, it's worth it to keep looking until you find your group. Even if that's just a subgroup within a larger community 👯

❓ So here's a question for you: if you happened to go to the Argentine Tolkien Association, who do you think you'd like to hang out with? The official members or the forum? 🧐

💬 And if you're wondering where to meet your Player 2 organically, here are 200+ ideas and a guide to help you on your Quest! Download them here for FREE: https://www.rolltodate.com/where

📱Join me on Discord! https://www.rolltodate.com/discord

Timestamps for lazy nerds:

• 00:00:00 Intro
• 00:03:14 How Jose Found the Association
• 00:07:26 Fitting In
• 00:12:32 Different Personalities, Same Interest
• 00:15:43 Feeling Appreciated

Contact:
dm@rolltodate.com or
@rolltodate on social media

🔥 Dating Apps like Tinder often get a bad rep about what people there are looking for. But even if you start something with no strings attached, if you matched with the right person... you might end up having a nerd wedding with swords and the LOTR soundtrack! 🧝‍♂️

April expected to meet a jock 💪 Someone with whom she wouldn't have much in common. Instead, she fell for a nerd. But that wasn't what they had agreed to. After all, neither of them were looking for a serious relationship. So it wasn't until one of them was vulnerable enough to express their feelings that things changed.

📝 Agreements (even romantic) can be changed and amended. They're not something fixed that once set can't be touched. It does, however, mean risking rejection. Just as confessing that you like someone, trying to change what you already agreed on carries a risk. ⚠️

Is it worth it? Up to you to decide. For April and Scott, it led to a nerd marriage. 💍

🖤 And if you're wondering where to meet your Player 2 organically, here are 200+ ideas and a guide to help you on your Quest! Download them here for FREE: https://www.rolltodate.com/where

📱Join me on Discord! https://www.rolltodate.com/discord

Socials:

https://www.instagram.com/legiodith13

https://www.threads.net/@legiodith13

https://bsky.app/profile/legiodith.bsky.social

Steven's Interview: https://www.rolltodate.com/podcast/shy-meets-socially-anxious-and-going-slow/

Tim Ferris' Dating Episode: https://youtu.be/3zPa7b1uq4A?si=t0grWS2U1MippFaV

Timestamps for lazy nerds:

• 00:00:00 Intro
• 00:00:45 All-around Nerd
• 00:01:47 Dating Intentions on Tinder
• 00:08:48 A Long First Date
• 00:13:45 A Star Trek Nerd!
• 00:21:13 From Friend with Benefits to Relationship
• 00:27:48 A Nerd Wedding

#datingtips #datingadvice #dating #nerdlife #nerd #gamer #single #socialskills #podcast

Contact:
dm@rolltodate.com or
@rolltodate on social media