The "So Now What?" Podcast

By: Lana Manikowski
  • Summary

  • I am a Fertility Survivor. The kind you enter into treatments hoping you will never be... childless. After several rounds of IUI and IVF, at some of the leading Fertility Centers, I was told I was no longer a candidate for fertility treatment. It left me asking myself... So now what? For the years that followed, I tried to put myself back together and tell myself I would be OK, but I wasn't. I was shattered - I felt alone and failed by the whole process and especially, my body. I yearned for others that felt the pain I felt and someone that could help me navigate a life without a child. I didn't find it, so I decide to create it. Fast forward to today. I am still childless, but my beliefs about my life have changed. I decided that I can create meaning and purpose in my life even though I am not a mother. I've learned to love myself and the body I felt failed me as a woman. I will share the many tools I have acquired through my Certification in Life Coaching and I will share it all with you here on The "So Now What?" Podcast. If you've been on this journey, hop on and join me as we create something we were not offered. Let's create a sisterhood for the bravest women I know. We brush ourselves off and don't let terms like: Failed, Unexplained, Miscarriage, Not-viable or Advanced Maternal Age define us anymore. Follow me on Instagram: @lana.manikowski to learn more about the opportunities available for you to live childfree, with meaning and purpose.
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Episodes
  • Comparison: A Childless Life vs. Those with Kids
    Oct 1 2024

    After going through infertility treatments, including IVF, many women find themselves facing life without the child they hoped for. This journey of being childless not by choice is filled with grief, heartache, and often, a deep sense of comparison. You may be asking yourself questions like, “Why can’t my life look like hers?” or “What am I supposed to do now without the milestones of motherhood to guide me?”

    In this episode, I want to remind you that while it’s natural to compare yourself to others, it’s not where your fulfillment lies. You can begin to break free from those comparisons and create a life that is rich with meaning—even when it doesn’t involve children.

    We’ll talk about what it looks like to reclaim your body after years of IVF and fertility treatments, let go of the idea that motherhood is the only path to joy, and start building a future that excites and fulfills you.

    Imagine waking up each morning, no longer weighed down by the question of “What if?”

    Instead, you’re filled with the excitement of new possibilities.

    You’re investing in your passions, learning new things, and finding ways to make a difference in the world. Your body feels like a place of strength again—not because you had a baby, but because you’re learning to appreciate what it can do, how it moves, and the joy it brings you in everyday moments.

    This episode is all about helping you stop comparing your life to others and start living with purpose, joy, and fulfillment.

    Your life, just as it is, has so much beauty to offer.

    Links and Resources:

    • Ready to thrive after infertility? Click here to join the Thrive After Infertility Mastermind
    • Feeling stuck? Click here to book your Free Thrive Call today
    • Let’s connect! Follow me on Instagram for daily encouragement: @Lana.Manikowski

    Subscribe & Review:
    If today’s episode spoke to you, please consider subscribing and leaving a review. Share your thoughts, let me know how this episode helped you, and spread the word so we can reach more women who are on this journey of being childless after infertility and IVF.

    You don’t have to navigate this alone—together, we can find meaning and fulfillment beyond comparison.

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    13 mins
  • Life After Infertility: 10 Common Struggles and How to Move Beyond Them
    Sep 24 2024
    If you’re childless after infertility treatments, you are not alone, even though it might feel like you are. In this episode, I open up about my personal journey through seven years of fertility treatments, only to end up without the child I dreamed of. I know firsthand how devastating and isolating this experience can be. What most women don’t realize is that these feelings—grief, confusion, loss of purpose—are prevalent among women who have undergone IVF or fertility treatments without having a child. But here’s the truth: most fertility clinics don’t offer the support or resources to help you make sense of life after treatments. We’re left to navigate this uncharted, unexpected path without guidance. That’s where today’s episode comes in. I’ll walk you through the 10 most common struggles women face after unsuccessful fertility treatments, and more importantly, I’ll show you how you can begin to shift your perspective so these struggles no longer define your life. Key Points from This Episode 1. Grief and Loss Grieving after infertility is specific and complex.Grieving the loss of your dream of motherhood is deep and often unacknowledged by others. It doesn’t have to define you forever. 2. Identity and Purpose When motherhood doesn’t happen, it can feel like you’ve lost your identity. But there is so much more to you than the title of “mom.” You can redefine your life and find purpose in a way that is fulfilling. 3. Feelings of Failure It’s easy to feel like your body failed you, but infertility is not your fault. Learning to release self-judgment is crucial to moving forward and finding peace. 4. Compassion and Jealousy Seeing friends and family share milestones with their children can lead to feelings of comparison and jealousy. But you can release those feelings and celebrate your own unique journey. 5. Isolation Infertility and childlessness can be isolating. You’re not alone in feeling this way. Finding a community that truly understands what you’re going through is important. 6. Relationships with Partners Infertility puts a strain on relationships, but it’s possible to reconnect with your partner in a deeper way once you release the weight of grief. 7. Navigating Friendships Being the only childless friend in your circle can feel isolating, but your friendships can evolve, and you can still find meaningful connection. 8. Cultural and Social Expectations Society places a lot of pressure on women to find purpose in motherhood. However, you define your own success, and it doesn’t have to include children. 9. Uncertainty About the Future When your future no longer includes children, it can feel like you’ve lost direction. But you can create a new vision for your life that feels exciting and full of possibility. 10. Fear of Aging Alone The fear of growing old without children is real, but you can build meaningful relationships and a support system that gives you love and care throughout your life. Why This Episode Matters: The feelings you’re experiencing after leaving fertility treatments without a child are not unique to you. They are incredibly common, yet rarely talked about. Most fertility clinics don’t provide resources for women in this situation, which leaves us feeling alone. But you don’t have to stay stuck in these feelings forever. There is a way to shift your perspective and move from merely surviving to thriving. In this episode, I share how the women I’ve helped through my Thrive After Infertility Mastermind have shifted their lives from being consumed by grief and loss to feeling fulfilled and hopeful for the future. As someone with an advanced certification in grief and post-traumatic growth, I understand the weight you’re carrying, and I’m here to help you transform your life. Resources Mentioned: Thrive After Infertility: A 12-week coaching program for women who are childless after infertility, and craving a sisterhood with women who are ready to thrive and feel fulfilled without the children you always dreamed of -Free Thrive Call: Ready to explore what’s next for you? Let’s get on a free call and create a plan that helps you move forward. - Free Resource: Grab my free guide, *“The Top 27 Things People Say When You’re Childless and How to Respond”*. Join the Conversation Have you experienced any of these struggles? How are you working through them? Connect with me on Instagram @lana.manikowski and let’s continue this important conversation. Remember, you don’t have to navigate this journey alone.
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    15 mins
  • Reconnecting with Your Body After Infertility
    Sep 17 2024

    Welcome to another episode of The "So Now What?" Podcast! This week, we’re diving into the important topic of body image after infertility—a struggle many women face when their journey to motherhood didn’t go as planned. If you’ve been feeling disconnected or resentful toward your body after years of fertility treatments, this episode is for you.

    In this episode, you’ll learn:

    • Why body image struggles are common for women who are childless after infertility.

    • How to begin the process of healing your relationship with your body by focusing on what your body does for you every day.

    • The benefits of gentle movement and why it’s important to move your body with kindness.

    • How to embrace body neutrality as a step toward self-acceptance, even if body positivity feels out of reach right now.

    • Practical self-care tips to help you reconnect with your body, including writing down three things you’re grateful for each day.

    This episode also touches on self-compassion and how small shifts in how you think about your body can lead to big changes in how you feel about it. Whether it's appreciating that your body allows you to take a walk, or simply that it keeps you alive each day, reconnecting with your body is possible—one step at a time.

    Lana also introduces her Fall Thrive After Infertility Mastermind, a 12-week coaching program designed to support you through challenging holidays like Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. You’ll get the tools and community to help you thrive, even when it feels like life didn’t go according to plan.

    Key Takeaways from This Episode:

    • Body Image After Infertility: Understanding why infertility can make you feel disconnected from your body and how to start healing.

    • Gentle Movement and Self-Care: How small acts of kindness, like yoga or a walk, can help you feel more connected to yourself.

    • Body Neutrality: Why you don’t have to love your body right away, but you can learn to accept and care for it.

    Want More Support?

    • Get the replay of Lana’s free class on handling awkward questions about not having kids. Just email her at hi@lanamanikowski.com or DM her on Instagram.

    • Join the Fall Thrive After Infertility Mastermind: Learn more about this supportive, transformative program here.

    • Download Lana’s free guide: The Top 27 Things People Say When You’re Childless and How to Respond at LanaManikowski.com/thingspeoplesay.

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    12 mins

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