Showing results by author "Dustin Gross" in All Categories

Struggling to function as a responsible adult? You’re not alone. How to Put On Your Underwear and Other Life Hacks is your brutally honest, laugh-out-loud guide to surviving everyday chaos—bad alarms, awkward small talk, and grocery store blackouts. Because let’s be real: adulting is a scam, and we’re all winging it.

The Bible: History’s most dramatic, chaotic, and WTF-inducing book... now with 100% more sarcasm. Ever wondered why God created a talking snake, why Noah willingly signed up for the worst cruise in history, or why the Book of Revelation reads like a metal album fever dream? Welcome to HOLY WTF, the irreverent, side-splittingly funny deep dive into the weirdest, wildest, and most WTF moments in the Bible. With sharp wit, dark humor, and surprisingly insightful biblical analysis, HOLY WTF is perfect for skeptics, believers, history nerds, and anyone who thinks theology could use a little comedy.

Adulting is a scam, and you’ve been tricked into playing. Bills, burnout, awkward family gatherings—nobody warned you it’d be this chaotic. How to Survive Life Without Totally Screwing It Up is the brutally honest, laugh-out-loud survival guide you didn’t know you needed. Packed with real talk, questionable advice, and the reassurance that nobody has it figured out, this book is your go-to for navigating life’s absurdity with (mostly) your sanity intact.

They stole his bread. They mocked his speech. Now, he's taking it all back—one quack at a time. Meet Thaddaeus McQuack: a furious, foul-mouthed duck with a grudge the size of a city pond and a speech impediment that only makes his threats funnier. After a mime-related incident lands him in a zoo, Thaddaeus breaks free—and declares war on mankind. With a deranged cockatoo named Steve, a flying squirrel militia, and a revolution built on stale bread and pure rage, Duck Off: The Quack Chronicles is a wild, action-packed satire you never knew you needed.

Love watches but don’t have a trust fund? Think collecting great timepieces means spending thousands? Think again. Watches for the Rest of Us is the ultimate guide to building a killer watch collection—without breaking the bank. From $50 Casios to $500 Seikos, this book shows you how to find hidden gems, avoid scams, and buy the right watches for the right reasons—all while keeping your bank account intact.

Ever wondered why gods are so obsessed with smiting people? Or why religious rules seem oddly fixated on what you can and can’t eat? Holy Crap: A Guide to World Religions takes you on a wildly entertaining ride through the world’s biggest faiths—roasting the absurdities, appreciating the wisdom, and answering life’s big questions (like whether Zeus would survive a paternity test). If you love history, mythology, and humor, this book is your next binge-listen.

Damien is a washed-up exorcist who never believed in happy endings—until one of his cursed blog posts goes viral. Now he’s “The Loveorcist,” a foul-mouthed, whiskey-loving relationship guru for the haunted and heartbroken. Too bad his most persistent fan is a beautiful demon named Lilith…who might be falling for him.

In the small town of Fartsville, USA, a cow appeared—mysteriously, majestically, and profoundly flatulent. Her name is Betsy, and her wind carries prophecy. The Divine Udderance is a hilariously holy satire of modern faith, influencer culture, capitalism, and the sheer absurdity of worshipping a gas-blessed bovine. From jazz-fueled fart battles to gluten-free miracles, Betsy’s tale is one of unexpected enlightenment, complete with jazz bands, TikTok prophets, National Guard conversions, and a child who decodes her toots in Morse code.

What do you get when you mix a cranky God, a bunch of emotionally fragile prophets, 613 commandments, and a whole lot of carbs? A sacred mess called Judaism—and this hilariously dysfunctional guide is here to make sense of it all. In Oy Vey Almighty, we dive headfirst into the wonders and weirdness of Jewish faith, history, rituals, and culture—from Abraham’s awkward parenting to Moses' divine burnout, from Shabbat naps to Passover plagues.

Whether you’re dealing with needy coworkers, guilt-tripping relatives, or friends who only show up when they need a favor, this audiobook arms you with real-world strategies—and laugh-out-loud lines—to say no like a pro.

Drink Like a Legend. Or at Least Like a Pirate. Rum is more than just a drink—it’s a lifestyle, a statement, and possibly the best bad decision you’ll ever make. Whether you’re a rum rookie or a seasoned sipper, this book delivers hard-earned wisdom, hilarious insights, and a guide to drinking rum like a legend.

A foul-mouthed fairy. A princess with an axe. A kingdom one bar fight away from collapse. Exiled from the Fairy Realm for “excessive profanity and reckless endangerment” (a total misunderstanding, really), Flit is stuck in the mortal world—where everyone is far too tall, not nearly drunk enough, and weirdly obsessed with quests. All he wants is a stiff drink and to be left alone. Instead, he gets kidnapped by a princess who thinks he’s her magical sidekick.

Captain Rufus “Sweet Smellin’” McGraw is not your ordinary pirate. While most cutthroats plunder gold and rum, McGraw has a more refined obsession—the world’s rarest and most intoxicating scents. And he’ll rob, swindle, or seduce anyone to get them.

Ancient Egypt was a mess. The gods were dramatic, the afterlife was full of bureaucratic nightmares, and crocodiles were way too involved in politics. Packed with sarcastic commentary, ridiculous myths, and historically accurate nonsense, this book is perfect for history nerds, mythology fans, and anyone who loves their gods with a side of snark. Whether you're a mythology expert or just here for the chaos, Holy Crocodiles! is your ultimate crash course in divine dysfunction.

The fate of America rests in the hands of a washed-up stuntman, a foul-mouthed ex-wrestler, and a woman who should’ve taken another job offer. Duke Thunder wasn’t supposed to run for president. But after a bar fight, a stolen VHS tape, and a deep-state assassination attempt, he had no choice. Now, he’s leading a beer-fueled revolution, exposing conspiracies that shouldn’t exist, and rewriting the Constitution—with his fists. But shadowy forces want him gone. The Woke Mafia, the Deep State, and Hollywood elites have declared war.

Ever fantasized about ghosting Thanksgiving—and your entire family? How to Quit Your Family (Without Getting Arrested) is your brutally honest, laugh-out-loud roadmap to freedom from toxic relatives, guilt-ridden holidays, and generational dysfunction.

Doom awaits…or so Mortimer Gravewhisper hopes. A tiny, brooding gnome obsessed with the inevitable, he sets out on a quest for ultimate despair—only to accidentally become a hero. With a sarcastic necromancer, an unstoppable cow, and a very confused prophecy, Mortimer’s journey proves that doom is frustratingly elusive… and hilarious.

Basic training was a disaster. His first mission was worse. But somehow, Private Johnny Durham is still alive—and that’s the real miracle. What happens when the world’s most unlucky soldier stumbles his way through the ranks of the U.S. Army? Absolute chaos.

"The Great Antarctic Mystery" follows Traci the Penguin, her adventurous husband Dustin, and their curious daughter Lizzie as they embark on a journey inspired by a glowing, ancient map Dustin discovers.

Shut Up, Change Your Socks, and Drink Some Damn Water is a brutally honest, hilariously vulgar field manual for life—served with a shot of military-grade wisdom and zero sugarcoating.