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My Beautiful Psychosis: Making Sense of Madness

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My Beautiful Psychosis: Making Sense of Madness

By: Emma Goude
Narrated by: Emma Goude
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About this listen

My Beautiful Psychosis is a stunning debut memoir from international award winning documentary filmmaker, Emma Goude. It is a gritty tale of transformation, depicting from the inside some of the most powerful experiences a human mind can endure.

What if psychosis is really a wake up call?

Emma is a 20-something who likes to party and take drugs...until she decides to give them up...and that’s when the insomnia starts. After five nights without sleep she ends up in A&E.

Three questions determine whether she is sane or not.

Three questions stand between her and the psychiatric ward.

She gets them wrong.

Emma is an atheist, a skeptical cynic who chose dope over God, so when she has some spiritual experiences she is not entirely sure if she is delusional. The psychiatric system has forgotten that "psyche" means soul. All they know about is medication and they have ways of making her take it. It becomes a game she has to play in order to get out. It is also a perception of herself she must do battle with in order to stand strong in her belief that her psychosis is some kind of awakening.

This powerful, honest and lucid memoir turns on its head the idea that psychosis is a debilitating illness, caused by a brain chemical imbalance, which requires medication for life. My Beautiful Psychosis questions conventional methods of "treating" psychosis and points towards a radical vision where "diagnosis" of mental illness makes allowances for spiritual growth rather than simply treating a perceived chemical imbalance.

My Beautiful Psychosis is a heart wrenching true story. Raw and vulnerable, spiritual but funny, it will change the way you see psychosis.

©2020 Emma Goude (P)2020 Emma Goude Mental Health Personality Disorders Professionals & Academics Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Science & Technology Funny Heartfelt Inspiring Thought-Provoking

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Critic reviews

“I was taken by her authenticity and vulnerability.” (Phil Borges, director of Crazywise)

"A guiding light for individuals, loved ones and healthcare providers." (Emma Bragdon, PhD. Executive Director, Integrative Mental Health for You)
All stars
Most relevant  
I can't find the words to describe this book, it may be more powerful because it's read by the actual author.

All I can say is this: just listen... it's brilliant.

spellbinding

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My daughter had her first psychotic episode when she was 14 and for 2 years we muddled through with her episodes until she was hospitalised at 16. She is now 18, has a diagnosis of bipolar and is on medication. It’s been a heartbreaking journey seeing her suffer and not know how to help her. The nhs system has failed her as a young person and me as her carer in ways that have left us traumatised and fearful of how to manage in the future. I am lost for words to communicate how Emmas book has impacted me. Emmas story has touched the tendrils of my intuitive faint hope of another way, has inspired me to trust myself more and has left me hungry to pursue better ways of holding the space for my incredible sensitive daughter to learn how to navigate her own beautiful psychosis. Thank you for writing this book Emma, for your exquisite sensitive sharing and incredible self awareness I am deeply humbled 🙏🙏🙏

Deeply moving, truth speaking, courageous.

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I found listening to My Beautiful Psychoses a great insight into the perspective the writer had with her experience of the psychiatric system and her experience of life and relationships . The book is very inspiring and has led me into wanting to find out more about shiatsu and Spirituality. This was my go to book for the last month ! I am a slow reader / listener but the experience was extremely cathartic , inspiring and a real opportunity to look into someone else’s experience of mental illness and relationships. I found the authors voice intensified the listening experience and humour and was very easy on the ear ! I am not a great reader or listener to books though I have thoroughly enjoyed this experience and will be looking forward to reading Emma’s next works .
Thank you for taking the time to write this book !

My Experience of reading My Beautiful Psychoses

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I loved this book. Emma Goude writes and narrates so well, it's a really easy listen I didnt want it to end! Mental health memoirs are often a depressing or hard read, but Emma's book is inspiring, funny, challenging, honest and captivating. I felt right there with her. It brought me tears as well as smiles, and a real education into the experience of those being treated by mental health servcies. I hope I can be a better support to friends and family with what we label as 'mental health issues' having read this book.

Captivating, moving, powerful

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As a connoisseur of great comedy, I hadn’t planned on using audible again after signing up to listen to ‘Alan Partridge from the Oasthouse’. I was recommended Emma’s first book, ‘My Beautiful Psychosis’ and as the audible version was narrated by Emma herself, I reactivated my account to have a listen. I literally ‘laughed out loud’ at least once, every chapter (way more than I did listening to partridge). ‘My Beautiful Psychosis’ is absolutely hilarious, and of the grown-up, emotionally-intelligent variety. I really was so taken aback by the unexpected humour of the book that I *couldn’t* stop listening and I devoured the first six hours in a single day.

When I finished the book just two days later I felt a profound sense that Emma’s book is the beginning of an emerging literary star, and somebody who has found a way to make the kind of impact Paulo Cohello made yet bigger and better. Unlike Cohello, Emma’s story isn’t told through fictional characters, it’s her *own* narrative and she *owns it* herself, whilst still having the impact on her listener of having been told a wonderful fictional story. That is what makes Emma’s story truly groundbreaking; as Emma has, by owning her narrative as her own true story, taken the best components of narrative fiction very similar to Cohello’s, but taken it to a whole new level. *And* without losing any of the magic for the listener of complete immersion in a wonderful (and at times very beautiful) story.

This is a rare and highly valuable book which deserves to be a huge, huge success for Emma.

Hilarious and profound!

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Thank you so much for sharing your story, Emma. A story that sings loudly for so many, with care, honesty and the urgency it needs.

Joyful, heartbreaking, magical, hopeful.

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I started listening to this book yesterday and finished it today. I’m so moved by it. It’s written beautifully. (Although the first chapter was my least favourite, I then felt it landed on a whole different level of writing which was maintained with skilful ease throughout the rest of the book, so I really encourage everyone to listen/read it fully.)
Emma writes with such honest, direct seeing and sharing, which makes it so refreshing to listen to, as does her voice which lets her remarkable story speak for itself, without adding unnecessary dramatic effect. The effect is very transparent and generous, a kind of “here’s my story, take it or leave it”. I found it very, very inspiring, a massive achievement on so many levels.
I feel the positive, powerful impact this book will keep having as its ripples widen out, touching and soothing so many who have had similar experiences, and changing the way we see and relate to those going through similar experiences. It is a call for compassion, for ourselves and others, and a guide book for how that compassion can look.

Showing the way to a paradigm shift in mental health care

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So great to hear this book & gain more understanding. As a mother of a very young adult going through the first year journey following psychosis it has helped me understand more of what I witnessed. Thank you for having the courage to share your experience to help others.

Really insightful

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This is a heartfelt memoir of someone sensitive experiencing phycosis thats both beautiful and sometimes scary. Brought on by childhood trauma and drug abuse. She was treated largely just by a label and medication without getting to the route causes or proper therapy. I’m too schizophrenic and experienced the same thing as is usual in the mental health system. I wrote my own book called, ‘I still have Dreams a life with Schizphrenia’ so know how much courage and bravery it took Emma to tell her story. Emma has turned to new age therapies. Maybe they made her feel her illness more deeply, maybe they helped her? Scientists know about extra dimensions so maybe there is something in these therapies. I’m sure this book will help people understand schizophrenia and will help treatment. Thank you Emma for sharing your story.

A moving story

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It wasn’t what I expected. I wasn’t keen on the narration and it was spiritual for me.

Narrator a bit monotonous

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