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Nowhere to Run

The Ridiculous Life of a Semi-Professional Football Club Chairman

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Nowhere to Run

By: Jonathan Sayer
Narrated by: Jonathan Sayer
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About this listen

Brought to you by Penguin.

On the second oldest football pitch in the world, Jonathan Sayer stands atop a beer crate to address the assembled fans of Ashton United FC. As his initial optimism and disillusionment begin to slip through his fingers, the new co-chairman and co-owner (alongside his dad) starts to realise the scale of the challenge ahead.

Battling to keep the club afloat, a record number of games without a win sees hope turn to despair as Jonathan contends with a mutiny from a group of octogenarian supporters, constant battles with the local council and a star striker who arrives on crutches despite somehow passing his medical.

As the on-pitch form continues to deteriorate and rifts appear between him and his father, Jonathan begins to make some increasingly desperate decisions: dressing as a seven-foot robin in the local market in an effort to drum up larger crowds, sinking his savings into an ever spiralling wage bill and even contemplating bringing in a local priest to lift the 'Boxing Day Curse' by performing a late-night exorcism on the pitch.

Chronicling the euphoric highs and bitter disappointments of the less glamourous side of the beautiful game, Nowhere to Run is the hilarious, heart-warming tale of life in the hot seat of a non-league football club.

©2023 Jonathan Sayer (P)2023 Penguin Audio
Comedy & Humour Football (Soccer) Sports Funny Feel-Good Witty Heartfelt Comedy
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What listeners say about Nowhere to Run

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

nice story and onsite.

you really want them to do well. worth a listen if you're interested in lower league football

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

A compelling listen

Well written and thoroughly enjoyable, the narrative stayed compelling throughout and maintained the sense of jeopardy to the end. Certainly a pity that the latter years came in a rush, suggesting understandably that it may have lay dormant during the pandemic.
Love the grass roots detail albeit a little undermined by the fiction/non fiction aspect. Thanks to Jonathan for the remarkable honesty (although Bashley… really?!) and I’d get a sequel as soon as it came out. Now I’m off to check out their season!

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

A must for any football fan.

Great to hear Jonathan reading the book and his passion for Ashton clearly comes out.

When most football stories are about the big Premiership clubs it good to see the other side of lower league football portrayed.

Dads battle with opening an outside bar would never happen at big clubs and this dedication and overcoming other challenges that gets you involved in the book.

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Fantastic Listen

I really enjoyed listening to this book. author comes across as a really good guy and Ashton United are really lucky to have him as a co-owner. Good luck for the future!

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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Quality Book

Liked it a lot. Great story and v well written and spoken. Love non-league footy even more now

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Honesty and humour. Best wishes Ashton!

Good account of the trials and occasional triumphs of being a non league co chair. Engaging and funny but also an accurate reflection of life in the lower parts of the pyramid.

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    4 out of 5 stars

"Details altered or exaggerated for comic effect"

I listened to the audio book which was unfortunately ruined in the preamble authors note with the above headline statement.
I was really looking forward to this but spent the entire listen thinking that the events described didn't actually happen like that. Names had been changed etc. etc. It wasn't clear to me whether this was everyone or just some of the oddball characters. Were the players/management even real?
I couldn't decide whether the book was fact or fiction. A decent read/listen but spoilt for by this tevalation.

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Very funny but would have liked....

Very funny and well written. My only disappointment was that the financial situation outlined at the start was never addressed again. Was the deficit dealt with? How? Or is it still there, or even increased? It felt like that part of the story was introduced but then never finished or even progressed. Other than that though very enjoyable, would buy a sequel.

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Brilliant From Start To Finish!

Hooked from the first chapter!

As a season ticket holder at Bognor Regis Town for several years, there are so many characters to identify with.

Jonathan acknowledges his naivety in taking over the running of the club with his Dad and the difficulties it created in their relationship but the humour shone throughout, even in periods of overwhelming adversity. And this is often the way at non league level!

it captures the heart of non-league football perfectly.

I cannot recommend this enough. Great story, great narration.

Sit back, open a bottle of Special Brewster and enjoy.

And please, please, please write a 2nd volume!

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Great story... funny

Well worth the download really enjoyed this one. a sneak peak of running a club in thr basement if football loved it

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