The modern marriage ideal suggests that we find a partner to help us become our best selves. But we also want a partner to make us feel loved, safe and secure — and that means accepting the current version of us. The person we are today.

To help us become tomorrow’s version, we place a partner in a double bind where they have to acknowledge a difference between today’s version and the version of us we’re capable of becoming. For that, they need to be able to see us through a critical lens.

And that can be very tough. Both on the receiving end and on the messenger’s end.

Lots of us say we want feedback, but most of us can’t handle it.

In this episode, I’m going to:

• Reveal the paradox of the modern ideal marriage.
• Challenge you to question whether we ask too much of our partners.
• Encourage you to prioritize:

Your need for unconditional love

Finding a partner who will help you grow.

Xxoo Darcy

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Preston Smith.

DISCLAIMER

#Dating #DatingTips #RelationshipGoals #DatingAdvice #Relationships #RelationshipPodcast #RelationshipPodcasts #RelationshipAdvice

#RelationshipExperts #RealTalkRelationships #LoveLanguage #RelationshipIssues #RelationshipHelp #PodcastLove #WeNeedToTalkWithDrDarcy #Therapy #CouplesCounseling #CouplesTherapy #DrDarcySterling #DoctorDarcySterling #DrDarcy

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The threads that bind us to our families have begun to feel optional in recent years.

And in our culture of social media — where anyone with a phone can proclaim themselves to be an expert on subjects that they have no training or qualifications in — influencers are everywhere, some of them encouraging followers to end what they deem to be toxic relationships, or to break unhealthy cycles, or to rethink the obligation of being in our closest relationships.

I am a fan of healthy relationships. And when they become exploitive, manipulative or harmful, I am OK with someone making the decision to exit the relationship — even when it’s with a family member.

I am truly torn when it comes to family estrangement. I know first hand the wounds that come from being in a painful relationship. I understand why someone would make the decision to step away. And as a therapist and a human being, I’ve seen the cost people pay when they lose their tribe.

Joining me in this discussion is Dr. Joshua Coleman, author of the book Rules of Estrangement. Dr. Coleman is a psychologist in private practice in the San Francisco Bay Area, and he has carved out a specialty in family estrangement.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• The #1 cause of family estrangement.
• How well-meaning friends and family tend to exacerbate estrangement.
• The biggest mistakes people make when they’re trying to reconcile.

AND… Dr. Coleman gives us his greatest tool for those who want to bridge the gap between themself and a loved one they’re cut off from.

Xxoo Darcy

REFERENCES

Is Cutting Off Your Family Good Therapy? The New York Times July 14, 2024 Ellen Barry.

Rules of Estrangement: Why Adult Children Cut Ties & How to Heal the Conflict

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Preston Smith.

DISCLAIMER

#FamilyEstrangement #ToxicRelationships #ToxicFamily #Toxic #Estrangement #Estranged #DrJoshuaColeman #EstrangedParents

#EstrangedChildren #EstrangedParentsAndAdultChildren #EstrangedParent #EstrangedFamily #EstrangedAdultChildren #Reconciliation

#Alienation #ParentalAlienation #NoContact #RelationshipPodcast #RelationshipPodcasts #WeNeedToTalkWithDrDarcy #Therapy #CouplesCounseling #CouplesTherapy #DrDarcySterling #DoctorDarcySterling #DrDarcy

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Watch this episode here on YouTube.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The early stage of a new relationship is like nothing else. The excitement, the intense physical attraction, the space they take up in your mind — it can be all consuming.

A new relationship is a high you can’t find in a drug.

Because of that, new partners can struggle to pace themselves — to slow their roll — so they don’t burn through those early months.

Which is why pacing a new relationship can become its own thing.

And because she is in a new relationship, my co-host Ashtyn Tardif, who you’ve grown to love, joins me with all the questions!

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How to handle pressure from family and friends to meet your new partner.
• The pros and cons of making things official on social media.
• How to balance your personal life and independence with merging into a couple.

AND… what to do when the first “I Love You” doesn’t happen simultaneously.

Xxoo Darcy

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani, Stephanie Sterling and Preston Smith.

DISCLAIMER

#Dating #DatingTips #RelationshipGoals #DatingAdvice #Relationships #RelationshipPodcast #RelationshipPodcasts #RelationshipAdvice

#RelationshipExperts #RealTalkRelationships #LoveLanguage #RelationshipIssues #RelationshipHelp #PodcastLove #WeNeedToTalkWithDrDarcy #Therapy #CouplesCounseling #CouplesTherapy #DrDarcySterling #DoctorDarcySterling #DrDarcy

#RelationshipGoals #SlowAndSteady #NewRelationship #NewRelationships #PaceYourself #Pacing

Instagram:@drdarcysterling

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling

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YouTube:@DarcySterling

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Painful sex?

Torturous periods?

PMS that makes you feel like you should be wrapped in yellow caution tape?

This episode is PACKED with answers to your HORMONE questions, and all the other “lady-problems” that women are shamed into silence about.

In this conversation with TikTok sensation Dr. Karen Tang, you’ll learn:

• If birth control causes long-term hormonal imbalances.
• How much period pain is too much pain.
• Whether hormone replacement therapy is really dangerous.

AND… Dr. Tang debunks some of the biggest myths on TikTok about hormones.

Regardless of which hormone issues you’re experiencing, it’s not hysteria and there is a solution.

Xxoo Darcy

REFERENCES

“So Last Week I’m At The Gynecologist’s Office”

It's Not Hysteria: Everything You Need to Know About Your Reproductive Health (but Were Never Told) By: Karen Tang MD

CREDITS

We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal.

Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Preston Smith.

DISCLAIMER

#Dating #DatingTips #RelationshipGoals #DatingAdvice #Relationships #RelationshipPodcast #RelationshipPodcasts

#RelationshipAdvice #RelationshipExperts #RealTalkRelationships #LoveLanguage #PodcastLove #WeNeedToTalkWithDrDarcy #Therapy

#CouplesCounseling #CouplesTherapy #DrDarcySterling #DoctorDarcySterling #DrDarcy #HormoneBalance #HormoneImbalance

#HormoneImbalancing #HormoneImbalances #HormoneHealth #HormoneReplacementTherapy #HormoneTherapy #WomensHealth

#WomensHealthcare #WomensHealthMatters #PCOSAwareness #MenopauseSupport #MenopauseHealth #MenopauseRelief #MenopauseSymptoms #Perimenopause #ReproductiveHealth #Endometriosis #BirthControl #PMDD #DrKarenTang

Instagram:@drdarcysterling

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling

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YouTube:@DarcySterling

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Watch this episode here on YouTube.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

One of the hottest topics in mental health is attachment theory, which is a psychological framework that posits that the way we bond to our primary caregivers creates a template for how we’ll move through relationships as adults. It goes like this:

We learn how to love and how to get our needs met through the care we received from our primary caregivers. The extent to which they fulfilled our needs informs how we will then express our needs as adults and how we’ll respond to the needs of those closest to us, particularly, our partners.

When it comes to living experts in the field of attachment theory, there is no one more respected than today’s guest.

Dr. Diane Poole Heller is an international expert and pioneer in attachment theory.

She is the author of The Power of Attachment: How to Create Deep and Lasting Relationships — a book that I make most of my clients read at some point during our work.

Dr. Heller is the Creator of DARe: a training and certification program for therapists that teaches them how to apply attachment theory into their clinical work, and she joins me to shed light on how we can all move towards developing a secure attachment style, regardless of the attachment style we emerged from childhood with.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• The 4 different attachment styles and how each develops in childhood.
• How our attachment style influences the way we behave in our adult relationships.
• Practical tools for healing attachment wounds and moving towards a secure attachment style.
• How partners with different attachment styles can reduce conflict and misunderstandings.

Xxoo Darcy

REFERENCES

https://traumasolutions.com/

https://dianepooleheller.com/

The Power of Attachment: How to Create Deep and Lasting Relationships Diane Poole Heller, PHD

The Verdict Is In By: Alan Sroufe and Daniel Siegel

CREDITS

This episode of “We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” was produced by Darcy Sterling, with editorial support from Vicki Vergolina. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani, Stephanie Sterling and Preston Smith. “We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production.

DISCLAIMER

#Dating #DatingTips #RelationshipGoals #DatingAdvice #Relationships #RelationshipPodcast #RelationshipPodcasts #RelationshipAdvice

#RelationshipExperts #RealTalkRelationships #LoveLanguage #PodcastLove #WeNeedToTalkWithDrDarcy #Therapy #CouplesCounseling #CouplesTherapy #DrDarcySterling #DoctorDarcySterling #DrDarcy #DianePooleHeller #AttachmentStyles #AttachmentStyle #AttachmentTheory #SecureAttachment #AnxiousAttachment #AvoidantAttachment #Attachment #AttachmentParenting #AttachmentIssues #AttachmentTherapy

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Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

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Watch this episode here on YouTube

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We all know someone who manages to avoid fully committing to a relationship, either because we’ve dated them, or someone we love has.

They may say they’re committed to you — they may even identify as being in a relationship — but there are things they Do or Don’t Do that leave you feeling like you’re standing on a house of cards:

• You don’t feel fully integrated into each other’s lives.
• They avoid making plans for the future.
• You feel like you’re chasing. Because you are.

Their behavior is consistent enough for you to catch feelings, but too inconsistent to make you feel secure.

In this episode we drill down on:

• What creates people who can’t fully lean into a committed relationship.
• What creates the people who are drawn to them.
• How to heal both partners.

I know you know someone who has felt this way.

Send them some love by sharing this.

Xxoo Darcy

REFERENCES

How We Feel App-Apple Store

How We Feel App-Google Play Store

Attachment Quiz

The Power of Attachment Book

Darcy’s email: darcy@askdrdarcy.com for Attachment Style Quiz interpretation (be sure you’ve registered on the linked site for this b/c Darcy will need to reference the original results).

#Dating #DatingTips #RelationshipGoals #DatingAdvice #Relationships #RelationshipPodcast

#RelationshipPodcasts #RelationshipAdvice #RelationshipExperts #RealTalkRelationships

#LoveLanguage #PodcastLove #WeNeedToTalkWithDrDarcy #Therapy #CouplesCounseling

#CouplesTherapy #DrDarcySterling #DoctorDarcySterling #DrDarcy #AvoidantAttachment

#AnxiousAttachment #CommitmentIssues #RelationshipIssues #RelationshipHelp

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani, Stephanie Sterling, and Preston Smith.

DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling

Twitter:@DrDarcySterling

YouTube:@DarcySterling

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s one of the most common questions people have about mental health:

How do I know if I need therapy?

How do you know if your problems are “normal” or if it’s time to call in a pro?

In this episode, we answer questions like:

• What’s the difference between a sad day and a red flag for therapy?
• How do I know if I’m leaning too much on my friends?
• Is medication without therapy a real thing? And if so, is it effective?
• Can a physical illness mean that you need therapy?
• What types of therapy work the best?

AND… I share with you the most IMPORTANT questions any therapist should be able to answer for you at the start of therapy.

Xxoo Darcy

REFERENCES

Average Cost of Getting a Master’s Degree in Social Work

Divorce Stats

CREDITS

This episode of “We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” was produced by Darcy Sterling. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani, Stephanie Sterling and Preston Smith. “We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production.

DISCLAIMER

*correction* Darcy states that she’s been on medications half her life, since she was 26 years old. Math is not her thing. She’s 54, bringing her total number of years on medication to just under half her life.

#Therapy #TherapyWorks #TherapySessions #TherapyIsCool #DBTTherapy #DBTSkills #EmdrTherapy #Emdr

#DialecticalBehaviorTherapy #Dating #DatingTips #RelationshipGoals

#DatingAdvice #Relationships #RelationshipPodcast #RelationshipPodcasts

#RelationshipAdvice #RelationshipExperts #RealTalkRelationships #LoveLanguage #PodcastLove #WeNeedToTalkWithDrDarcy

#Therapy #CouplesCounseling #CouplesTherapy #DrDarcySterling #DoctorDarcySterling #DrDarcy

Instagram:@drdarcysterling

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling

Twitter:@DrDarcySterling

YouTube:@DarcySterling

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A couple of months ago, I interviewed New York Times bestselling author, Molly Roden Winter. Her book, “More: A Memoir of Open Marriage” documents her journey as a Brooklyn Mom who ventures into the world of polyamory, as she opens her marriage.

My interview with her sparked such a buzz from listeners — more than any other episode of WNTT. It’s linked below if you haven’t listened.

I just re-read her book while I was on a vacation and I have to tell you, about every 50 pages I found myself taken aback by how well her husband Stewart navigated their experience. He was repeatedly in situations where there were five wrong ways of responding to things, and in my opinion, he consistently landed on the right one.

Was he lucky? Or has he actually been taught relationship skills?

Those were the answers I wanted, so I invited him to join me.

Stewart Winter did not disappoint.

CREDITS

This episode of “We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” was produced by Darcy Sterling. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani, Stephanie Sterling and Preston Smith. “We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production.

Link to Molly’s book: More: A Memoir of Open Marriage

Link to Molly’s episode

DISCLAIMER

#newyorktimesbestseller #more #mollyroden #mollyrodenwinter #polyamory#polyamorous #nonmonogamy #nonmonogamous #openrelationship #sex #newyorktimes #Dating #DatingTips #RelationshipGoals #DatingAdvice #Relationships #RelationshipPodcast #RelationshipPodcasts #RelationshipAdvice #RelationshipExperts #RealTalkRelationships #LoveLanguage #PodcastLove #WeNeedToTalkWithDrDarcy #Therapy #CouplesCounseling #CouplesTherapy #DrDarcySterling #DoctorDarcySterling #DrDarcy

Instagram:@drdarcysterling

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling

Twitter:@DrDarcySterling

YouTube:@DarcySterling

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.