Liches Get Stitches cover art

Liches Get Stitches

Liches Get Stitches, Book 1

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Liches Get Stitches

By: HJ Tolson
Narrated by: Ella Lynch
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About this listen

Evil stirs in the forest of Downing, spreading blight across the ancient boughs.

Busy with troubles of her own, Maud the village witch just wants to be left alone. Peace and quiet should be easy enough when you're dead, right?

Wrong. Reborn as a powerful lich, Maud is suddenly faced with the attentions of all the righteous heroes, holy clerics, and nosy neighbors of the realm. Now, instead of whiling away the days in her garden with her cat and her knitting, Maud must figure out how much force is required to crush a man's spine, the proper storage solution to keep a spoiling cadaver, and how best to display the remains of the fallen for maximum scare.

Liches Get Stitches is a very grisly slice-of-life progression fantasy featuring people mulch, head bouquets, revenant geese, and some very deadly embroidery. Undead paradise never looked so good.

©2021 HJ Tolson (P)2022 Podium Audio Action & Adventure Fantasy Fiction Horror Humorous Scary Comedy

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It's shlock horror in book form, but with oddly endearing qualities...

The narrator really helps to sell the dual nature of the main character.

If you like easy-going 'dark' with an anti-hero main character this is well worth a listen.

Easy going, undead, endearing psychopathy

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Great story about a hedge witch learning the ins and outs after becoming a lich that is excellently narrated.

brilliant

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this is a book about a hedge witch that is accidentally made into a litch, and the sheer cottage core vibes mixing with the macabre are very enjoyable.

very enjoyable

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I read this book when it first came out and really enjoyed the style and voicy protagonist. After listening to the sample, I was keen to get the audiobook as well. No regrets. :D Really love how the narrator gave Maud such a marvelous voice, it fits the story well - and many of the other chars too, THE ACCENTS! It makes the whole book - which already is such a vibe with its humor, silly and horrid characters, and crafting with um innards and limbs - a super fun new experience. Perfect road trip book, don’t need too much focus to listen to it, really entertaining.

The narrator makes this funny, grizzly book a whole new joy

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Really enjoyed this book lots of dark humour, looking forward to listening to the next one

Fantastic

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Loved the voice actress, lovely performance. It was a pleasure to listen. Plus, the story is really good as well, reminds me of an RPG game.

Very good narrator, will download the second book

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what more can be said?
it's simple, grizzly, fun and well written. I'm gonna binge the whole series, take my money

fun grim and hilarious

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Liches Get Stitches is the perfect side-quest from a fantasy fan's staple of epic fantasy, swords & sorcery, coming of age, or litrpg. The story begins with the tale of how a medieval commoner in a small town is unexpectedly transformed into a lich - there are no fantasy tropes in this. The narration by Ella Lynch is superb, capturing the snark, sarcasm, and matter-of-fact attitude this new lich takes towards the world around her. Death, dismemberment, bodies being torn and stitched together, and people dying from all sorts of blunt trauma, blades, dark magic, and brute force permeate nearly every page. There are undead, dark magic, light magic, clerics and paladins. And it's glorious! I haven't laughed this much during an audiobook in a long time. Definitely going to continue with book 2.

The Life of a Lich is Funny as Hell!

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I absolutely loved the main character - I thought she was brilliant and she has become my favourite book character ever! I loved the story and the magic and the sewing and creativity and her self-centred thinking somehow mixed with compassion for others. I will definitely be downloading book two very soon.

Absolutely LOVED this book

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