Due to a coding problem with Alexa, you are hearing this description instead of the actual episode of It's Embert! While they try to figure this out, if they ever do, please look for It's Embert on Spotify where you can listen to this and all other episodes. Thank you for your patience while some engineer that put a colon where a bracket should be figures out what they did wrong at Alexa HQ.

It’s Independence Day, and Embert is not here for your drunk uncles, TikTok firework fails, or casual disrespect for what the day really means.

In this explosive episode:

• The difference between patriotism and nonsense

• A plea to stop terrorizing pets and old men

• A rant on freedom, sacrifice, and flaming lawn chairs

• And one cranky veteran’s guide to celebrating like you actually give a damn

If you still think the Fourth is just about beer and bangs, this one’s your wake-up call wrapped in an American flag.

New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert finishes chasing teenagers off his driveway with a garden hose and a pocket Constitution.

Season 4, Episode 60 – “I’m Not an Employee, I’m Just Old and Angry”

Due to a coding problem with Alexa, you are hearing this description instead of the actual episode of It's Embert! While they try to figure this out, if they ever do, please look for It's Embert on Spotify where you can listen to this and all other episodes. Thank you for your patience while some engineer that put a colon where a bracket should be figures out what they did wrong at Alexa HQ.

Embert’s blood pressure spikes as he rails against the tyranny of self-checkout lanes.
He didn’t sign up to become a cashier. He just wanted batteries—and maybe a little respect.

In this firecracker episode:

• The indignity of being your own bag boy

• The myth of “efficiency”

• Glitches, freezes, and false accusations

• And why self-checkout might just be retail’s final insult

If you’ve ever muttered “unexpected item in bagging area” in your sleep, this one’s for you.

New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert finishes trying to scan a can of beans for the fifth time.

Ask ChatGPT

Due to a coding problem with Alexa, you are hearing this description instead of the actual episode of It's Embert! While they try to figure this out, if they ever do, please look for It's Embert on Spotify where you can listen to this and all other episodes. Thank you for your patience while some engineer that put a colon where a bracket should be figures out what they did wrong at Alexa HQ.

Embert’s blowing a fuse over smart appliances that aren’t so smart.
From toasters with settings that require a tutorial to fridges that want your Wi-Fi password, he’s had it with modern “convenience.”

In this one:

• The washing machine that sends text messages

• The fridge that can stream music but not chill milk

• The rise of surveillance kitchenware

• And why Embert misses the glory of buttons, knobs, and things that just worked

If you’ve ever had to download a firmware update to make toast, this episode will soothe your analog soul.

New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert finishes yelling at the dryer for asking for his location.

Bonus! Embert has no way to end the recording so goes on for several more minutes before "pushing a button" that either launches a nuke or ends the recording.